Holy Fuck It's Been A LONG TIME

Oh shit. I really haven't taken this blogging stuff seriously but oh well. No one really reads this anyways....I'm going to save this blog for when my kids grow up to be perverted (yeah if they came out of MY cooch there's no doubt for that to happen) and they may appreciate my writings or they'll be like MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWM WHY R U LYK SO EMBURRSING UGHH LYK WOWWW. Anyways.....it's MLK day. He is arguably the most perfect man. I should be out hugging black people but unfortunately I am drooling at delicious shoes made by the delicious Jeffrey Campbell. This shall be mentioned in the next post. Also I'm seeing BOBBY NEXT MONTH AT BALBOA PARK OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. I'm going to throw my bra at him. Probably not because he's like.....70 so maybe I'll just ask him to sign my bobby shirt that was once my pops. Also who would play you in a movie, what would the movie be called, who would be your love interest, and who would be your faithful sidekick? For me it would be Nicolas Cage in his "cough sexy" days as he bleaches his skin yellow, Morgan Freeman as my love interest, my sidekick(s)? would be Whoopi Goldberg OR Uncle Joey from full house, Lana Del Rey/Dita Von teese/Carrot Top would be my hooker, and the movie would be called "IMNOTEASY: A biopic" or "The trees are silent. They pretend not to notice. That I am pooping."
Anyways my cooch hurts and I'm going to stop now and blog about my obsession.