Something that all men/horny teenage boys wish they had. But.....it won't work. Unless you're a d-list whore. THAT'S ME! Just kidding.
If I don't teach Chinese or pursue other careers and become duh doctah, I'm really gonna invent this and make it mandatory for men so they can SUFFER.
So I forgot to mention the feelings that these 2 tiny bottles I've used this year have expressed! Oh yes. The first scent I used was called Island Nectar. How exotic. It was VERY exotic. In fact, it sort of did express new things, new EXOTIC things. In that case exotic doesn't really fit but it slightly ties in. I don't know. The smell was super cheerful and nice and also really EXOTIC like mentioned before so it kind of symbolized being new and freshmany and getting to know people that I slightly didn't want to get to know in the beginning but it was actually amazing getting to know them. Damn that was a long sentence.And it also represents getting to know and growing closer to Nic, even though I pretty much barely knew he existed before...August, even though I remember him trying on something spandexy a while back. How EXOTIC. I'm....going to stop saying exotic. It also represented getting used to change and also moving on. Aka dumping the deuce, if it makes anything clearer. Dumping the deuce sounds like a term to express someone making a bowel movement. Aheehur. The next scent wasn't very prominent. Everyone wears it so it just reminded me of nothing really. It's that Japanese Cherry Blossom crap that makes you smell like a hooker. I just remembered me dumping gobs of it onto my hands just to get rid of it so I could buy more pleasant smelling ones. But....it's still here and in my closet somewhere so I'm just going to forget about it and use the one that smells like a cinnamon bun. Yum.
So the next part is about MAMMOGRAMS. Mammograms are rather scary. I would hate getting checked out by a gynecologist and getting a mammogram. I also hope there aren't any male gynecologists out there because that's just wrong. Unless they were gay, than that'd be alright. I'd be pretty sad having a straight male look up my cooter. But mammograms.....oh my god. Putting your boobs between two metal slabs and applying.....pressure. Shudder. What if your boobs explode!? My mom told me about mammograms and I grabbed my tits in fear. Also, what does the fricking doctor do if you end up with weird looking boobs.....like they jut out and look smushed? Stupid mammogram..ists. This is why I am going to keep my tits nice and healthy with......lots of sunlight, water, and fertilizer. Nah, I'm actually not sure how you keep your boobs healthy. Maybe you exercise them like those creepy weightlifting butch women so you can move your boobs in different directions. What a turn on. I'm also going to keep my cooter healthy with a lot of awkward exercise. Like.....interpretive dancing and.....the BEND and SNAP. Oh baby.
So I'm guess I'm done with my worrying with mammograms. Hopefully my boobs will not get old and saggy without them.
And....NATALIE TRAN finally posted up a video, even though it may only last 42 seconds long. How am I supposed to love her again when she LEFT ME. What an unhealthy relationship.
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