Oh baybeh baybeh.
The Wiggles are a underrated group of talented men in vibrant coloured shirts. Not only have they taught children how to sing about the most pointless things in life, such as salads made of fruit, they have gained a fan base of teenage girls drooling over their bodies, one of them would be me. People usually look at them and go "WOW. Look at those pedos." If you haven't met me, you might not want to use the term 'pedo' liberally. When you see my face, it is literally a carbon copy of pedobear. Anyways, I'll do some enriching of the brain for these biased people out there who can't appreciate 4 hunky Australian men entertaning children.
First off is the super smexy, hunky dory JEFF FATT! Jeff Fatt is not only the only Asian in the group, he is also Chinese, sleeps in awkward places, dons an attractive purple shirt, and his last name is "Fatt". Can you smell the irony? Plus, he's the oldest one and is almost 60. Yum. He also does a really arousing bug-eyed jizz-in-my-pants face and it's kind of amazing.
The second Wiggle is Murray Cook! As in the red one. Oh Murray, how I adore his charming down-syndrome smile, auburnish hair, and interesting accent. He was always oblivious and I remember pausing the show to stare at his creepy smiles.
The third Wiggle (the blue one) is Anthony Field, with the beer belly and the charming smile and kind of reminded me of a dwarf. He was pretty hunky but now he's old and gray but whatever! The magic of the Wiggles is timeless!
Last but ohoho definitely not least was Greg Page, the yellow one. I liked him because 1. He was long tan and handsome 2. Probably liked Asians, since he sported yellow. He was also the Paul McCartney of the group, making single moms all around the universe jizz their frilly panties. Unfortunately, Greg left the group and is replaced by some porous faced young man, boo. In this picture, Greg looks quite pedotastic but he is actually quite the dreamboat, bear with me please.
So like any other normal person would do, I was thinking "WHAT IF THE WIGGLES MARRIED THE SPICE GIRLS?!" And this is how it would end up:Scary and Jeff
Baby and Anthony
Greg and Posh
Sporty and Murray
And Ginger hits on Dorothy the Dinosaur! Erryone's happy!
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