The Result of Verbal Constipation

I'm sick. Why do I really, REALLY hate being sick, you might ask? The irritating lecture I get from my dad that makes it seem like I've been running out into the cold stark naked on a normal basis, thus catching a bad cold! Also, I've been eating like a pregnant woman and eating the weirdest combinations of foods you could imagine, such as mayonnaise on pretzels and peanut butter with pickles. I think I am a) pregnant b) depressed or c) a trannie. I also think that I'm going to die of a drug overdose, but I'm probably going to save that story for another REEEEEEEE-UHHRRR time on the toilet of verbal constipation. Yes, this is what I look like when I'm having problems pooping.
I was also thinking about furbies...I don't even know why....but they seem really creepy and entertaning? What are they? What kind of people would be stupid enough to actually buy one of these and make it a fad. Nothing will beat the power of SLINKY! But then again, I'm probably one of the only people who would find slinkies extremely funtertaining in a very more than platonic level. But IF I had a furby, I would scare people with it and put it in stalkerish places, like on the tree next to someone's window, in someone's shower, toilet, fridge, doorstep...Well, I actually wouldn't have a furby. I would have a shelby. Because those are clams, and who doesn't want a talking, hamsterowl clam?
Another thing I was thinking about was orgasm blush. Do men really find women with orgasmic red cheeks attractive? Is this some joke? Do you actually look hotter when you have an orgasm? Because to me, you probably look sweaty and slightly stoned...But really now? Orgasm? Super orgasm? Yeah, I like the super orgasm one....it describes what me clients have every visit for my dick...yow! If girls looked that great if they had orgasms, there would be tons of them getting laid and the world would be full of pregnant chicks, pedo-y, satisfied men, and a whole lot of them feti! Yum.
Also, I've thought about having arm dicks. What if your dick could sign autographs, make you a sandwich, slap someone for you, do your homework for you, etc? That would be so cool. We have to have some people start artificially selecting this trait, because I'm sure having arm peni would spread like wildfire. Or herpes.
I'm not going to search up arm penises, 'cause I don't want to see any of the frightful results.