Adopt a Nat!

Name: Nataree
Species: Human...they think
Birthdate: 9/22/96
Gender: M & F
Health conditions: slight herpes
Likes: Squeegees, Japanese mayonnaise, Bob Ross, glossy abdominals, and Sweden
Dislikes: spray cheese, cotton balls, Geri Halliwell, plastic bowls with weasels on them, etc.

SOMEONE PLEASE ADOPT ME. I'm living in a puppy mill. I'm going to be tossed into the meat grinder soon and then I'm going to be shipped off to the tuna factory!! The people who work there and fuckin' shifty....after putting on the "dolphin free" seal, they started putting in puppy meat. I'd prefer being adopted by some nice white people.

Every year, thousands of dog..things like Nataree are abused. Help them now by making a phone call.. * cues sad music* IN THE ARMMMMMMMMMMS OFFFFFFF AN ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I don't know the rest of the words so I'll just halt...here.

Seriously. I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. My Asian parents are going to cause me to jump out of the window someday. Then after I jump, it'll hurt. And I don't want that to happen....I still have three years at home.
What KIND of a parent regards homework as having fun and relaxing? And after I'm done cough "relaxing" I have to dig some fucking trench outside. Damn.
SOMEONE ADOPT ME NOW!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease. I won't even charge anything. Just come to my house, shove me into a burlap sack, and I will gladly be part of your family, though you probably wouldn't want slight herpes. But it's just slight! I promise you!
*sticks out bottom lip*.