A List Of My Lesbian Crushes. Right Here. Right Now.

This is a time where I release all my pent up desires to make steamy sex with all of these women. Just kidding. But I find these women intriguing and hot so I'm going to talk about their sultriness. I strongly apologize to Nic that I fantasize about these women. Just kidding. I actually don't. I guess I cough "apologize" for being a lesbo. Mmm. Thighs. Monica Lewinsky. I'd hit that.
1. RIZEE TRUMBORIO! I think this fascinating, charming, raunchy young creature is a national sex symbol. Nay, she is a WORLDWIDE sex symbol. From Mongolia to the Sandwich Islands, the name Lizbeth TROMBONE is all it takes to make men, women, and animals cream their panties. In the animals' cases, they HAVE no panties. Whatever. I also am not sure if I have a picture of her so I'll find a very similar picture.
2. Olivia Hussey. STOP SNICKERING AT HER LAST NAME! SHE IS SOME HOT SHIZ. She is old and crusty but still unbelievable sexy right now. She was Juliet in the old version of the Romeo and Juliet movie where she had boob spilling epic moments. I found her quite appealing. But sadly, I found Romeo's white buttcheeks much more hilarious and appealing. That scene was great, he was like "YEEYUH YOU NIGGABITCH CAPULETS! IMMA BANGING YOUR 15 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND I'M PROBABLY 19 OR SO! YEAH!!! Bang, bang bangity bang bang bang! BANG! BANGGGGGGG!" *bares buttcheeks on the balcony*
3. Meg White. I don't know why I have a girl crush on her. She's pasty and white and kind of reminds me of a gothic pornstar. She's also not the best drummer ever. I think she's very cute and such, and Jack White shouldn't have divorced her. THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER! And Jack White had ginger fetishes. Jack is such a manho, though I appreciate him a lot.
4. I have a girl crush on 2 K pop women. One has pink hair and has rumored to be a tranny (Jia)....but isn't......OKAY, THERE WAS WEIRD LIGHTING ON HER SPANDEX PANTS JEEEEEZ. And is a raunchy Chinese girl. The other is an ABK.....american born korean that has sultry muscular legs and I nice butt. (Min) They're both in the same K pop band, Miss A. And A probably stands for Asian. So original.
5. Last but not least I have a femaleish crush on Shirley Manson. I don't know why. But I just do. She was the lead singer of Garbage. They weren't very good. Why am I talking like this. I guess everyone sort of has a tiny soft spot for them gingers. And Shirley Manson was a pretty sultry ginger. Yum. Though her face sort of looked weird at times and she still kind of looks like a rabbit, I admire her and want to touch her.
6. YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS ACTUALLY THE LAST ONE?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Nope. LAST but definitely not the least would be Esperanza Spalding. For reasons completely explained as you watch her plunk that bass. Yum.

I'm done...I hope.
Actually, I'm not.
Then there's Jackie Fox, the bass player for the Runaways. She apparently sucked, but she was cute. And awesome. And WENT TO HARVARD.