Sipping Poodle Juice On a Sultry Midday Morning: 101 Super Uses For Tampon Applicators!

Something that is old has been racking my brain. That, my friends is the ignorant blonde mademoiselle from UCLA. Honestly, what I think part of what she is saying kind of makes a point. Unfortunately, I find Asian people jabbering in the library pretty damn annoying. The thing is....she's being ignorant, e.g "TING TONG LING LONG CHING CHONG" and keeps on going "You're in AH-MUHR-ICA! herpderp!" "I'm an Ahmurrkin princesserz!" The other thing is......why must you spew out this video when you're in UCLA?! Really now. I'm not entirely sure how she got admitted but I'll guess she a) seduced whoever runs it or a) seduced whoever who is in charge of grades to giver her a 4.4444444444445 GPA. Though I agree that Asians yakking in the library is irritable, I'm glad UCLA kicked this ho out. At least her and her tits will have new beginnings in the porn industry! Ho hum!

Second of all, I would like to state the magnificentness of the Nyan cat and the Korean Rickroll.
The Nyan cat is unlike no other. It is a small, pixelated gray kitty cat with a pop tart body that is shitting out a rainbow as it soars across a galaxy to catchy music. That's all. And that's the beauty of it. Thank you, Nic. Second is "Itaewon Freedom" aka the Korean Rickroll. This exciting MV includes: poofy 80's haired Korean men prancing around Seoul/Itaewon, hitting on one foxy lady, and pelvic thrusting like no tomorrow. This video was introduced to me by the lovely Simon and Martina, two sekasee hipster Wasians who vlog about Kpop, food, officetels, and their fohawked green doggie.

I also want to rant about shifty Chinese food from shifty Chinese places. Though the food may look a brilliant crimson red color and is served with a bunch of sliced up onions, it very well MAY give you very explosive diarrhea. I swear I almost made a poopty pootaaay during the musical yesterday and smelled like a shitbarn. That didn't make sense, but it did in my brain. All I really have to say is......shifty Chinese food from shifty Chinese places = or maybe even > to shifty Mexican food from shifty Mexican places. And Japanese and Korean food? Nah. Those places are waaaay too sanitary to spill your guts out. Remember kids........if you get served food that resembles a mouse vagina......do- I mean..DON'T eat it. No matter how tempted you are. I've always wanted to know what a mouse vagina tasted like. Just kidding.

Awwwww yeeee. Chicken head. Hen head.

Last and.....sort of the least is the marvelous Coachella music festival! A music festival in the boring general location of the boring Palm Springs...wear celebrities and common, unwashed folk breathe the same air, try to look "hipster", and listen and pretend to admire oddball fronted visual-kei bands. I sort of kid the third statement. More like oddball fronted a) adult-alternative b) art-punk c) really bad new wave d) Indie rock e) reggae grunge. I don't know about e, though I find that quite possible. Two things that generally irritate me about Coachella are: 1) The HUGE amount of people trying to dress as cracked out hipsters. They don't wear pants..aka the stds have eaten up their pants and are working on their shirts...ripped up potato sacks, hairbands that poof your hair, ankle converses, ugly rompers, chunky glasses, wilted daisies, tight pants, no pants, don't bathe for days, fedoras, bohemian skirts, nipple high trousers, tube socks, short shorts, fringed leather jackets, anything American Apparel or Urban Outfitters, ugly cardigans, crinkly rompers, salvation army stuff, vintage hearing aids, old marching band uniforms, fanny packs, plaid scarves, etc. Though I like many of these clothing choices and accessories, mostly fanny packs and nipple high trousers (oh bababy), I find it gross how people overdo it on this day. Please, inform me on more hipster clothing trends that I have missed. And as far as accessories go, you could be toting clunky headphones, huge lomography cameras (swoon I actually really love them).....or a really hot Asian or some other ethnic girlfriend who is a graphic designer and rocks out on upright bass. Or a matching drugged out hipster lady. I find it sort of sad that the definition of "hipster" is someone who finds nonconformity cool...and then here we have a ton of people conforming to look like them..so technically....the term "hipster" doesn't really make sense. Nonconformity is totally fine. I think it shouldn't be labeled, because really, everyone sort of has that element in them.......unless you're a bimbo, cheerleader, druggie. I understand. What weird is that I feel that I'm being sort of contradicting....Some of these clothing things are cool. And hipster......I think that word should be banned. The term is so pliable you could really give it 8234923757 definitions. Well this was really pointless. But I hope you sort of understand my point o' view.
And ohmyjizz. A CRAIGSLIST ASIAN GIRLFRIEND HIPSTER HOOKER. I just died. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/38889776.html