Today during the day of silence, Nic and I witnessed possibly the BEST THING that could happen to us......BOB ROSS. The god and holy spirit of painting. The man who can mix around paint crappily on his canvas and BAM! A perfect evergreen tree. Nay, not just a tree. A HAPPY TREE. Bob Ross also slaps his brush onto his easel and it makes a pleasant "fapping " noise. His serene tone of voice, creamy, microphone eque afro and sunburn kissed skin made me moan with pleasure....on the inside. 1) I didn't want to offend Nic and 2) Duh.....day of silence. Bob Ross has intrigued me so much that I read his wikipedia. The sad thing is that I was planning on being his third wife. Unfortunately, Bob Ross PASSED AWAY IN MOTHER FUCKING 1995! HE WAS SO YOUNG! HE WAS 52!! I could've married him in 10 years and he'd ONLY BE 62! Sigh. Oh Bob. I can't believe he could paint a masterpiece in about 20-30 minutes. He was the David Hasselhoff of art. Before I had heard of the legendary Bob Ross, but he was only a myth to me. I saw a picture of him with glossy pectorals that an avid AP studio art student, nay, a scholar painted. As soon as I saw his face today.....I knew.......that he was the one. Then I went home and found out that he was dead. And he used to be in the air force. He used to be a mean man. But then he became old and soft, just the way I like them. And I'm talking about buttcheeks.
Well, since he's dead I guess I can't do much. I guess I'll just have to go to his home state of Flo-ree-dah and dig him up and make duh love to his hidden dragon!!
Oh Bob. You get me.
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