I'M SO EXCITED.........I'M SO EXCITED.......I'M SO..........SCAREDDD.

LOLOLOLOLO

So you might wonder nowadays, "WOW. Natalie has a ton of ideas." Wrong. I sat in bed at 4AM churning ideas out. I do so much for my limited viewers, and I probably shouldn't. I've been using the computer from 10 AM today and multitasking and such that I literally feel my brain frying. This is going to be a rather hipster post, with obscure topics like "Worst Places To Have Diarrhea", "Vintage Cars", "Kool Aid Hair", "Shows from duh 90's slash early 2000's", and lastly "What Lizzi and I Plan To Do While Listening to 'Love Hurts' By Nazareth." I'll start out with the diarrhea talk. I myself have had diarrhea in many bad places, mostly in China. But no one cares. You could fart in public and get away with it. So here's a mighty fine list of bad places to blow chunks in reverse.
1. In your pants. That's a given......it's hereditary and runs in your JEANS/GENES!!!! HAHAHAH-I might've mentioned that one before.
2. Large stores such as Wal Mart and whatnot. There's usually a crowded bathroom and you feel embarrassed as people hear your butt thunder and see you walk out. The walk of shame. The mixed smell of poop and unwashed people (just kidding) adds to the sense of sheer terror.
3. On a boat. You can assume why.
4. Right before sexual intercourse. LOL.
5. On a ski lift. And the ski lift stops.
6. In single person bathrooms. You see, even though there are many stalls in normal public bathrooms, you could just point fingers at others.
7. In a movie theater on a date.
8. On the catwalk. You can imagine.......strut those thighs.........SPLATTTTTT.
9. In the pool.Dream car. The guy standing in front of it is such a bro. You can tell by his flamin' hot shirt.
Since yall are probably insanely grossed out, I will move on to my next topic, vintage cars.
As soon as I can drive, I will use my life savings of 270 dollars (I'D HAVE A LOT MORE IF MY MOM DIDN'T STEAL MY MONEY) and get a really old crusty car with flames. Preferably a ford roadster, you know, those ancient cars that look like boxy houses and whatnot. Or a volkswagen bus. My mom is very wary on the idea and said that if "I become doctah!" I can collect vintage cars. Hell no! I want to drive one. If my mom doesn't let me get a delicious rustbucket......I might cry. Plus I don't even really like cars so why would I collect them? I'd rather collect snowglobes. You could experience the 30's-70's in it. People probably smoked pot in it. Or had sex in it. Or illegally shipped chimpanzees or humans with it. Or gave birth in it. Honestly if I wouldn't be able to get these sultry cars, I'd just get a smallish car with good mileage, better for the environment, and it would HAVE to be a cool color. If nothing fits my criteria, I guess I'll just have to blade or segway everywhere. I don't mind!Kool aid hurrrrr.
I've been pestering/subtly hinting to my mom that I want to dip dye my hair a dark blue and that it doesn't damage your hair so I've been obsessively looking online how to dye it. (even though she probably won't let me.) I came across a page of how to dip dye your hair with KOOL AID. So I guess kool aid is terribly bad for you. It stains your insides. Lucky blonde people, not having to bleach their hair to dye it. But anyways....you mix kool aid with conditioner, soak your hair in it, and it comes out with a light and cute sherbet color. It's pretty awesome. But it still disturbs me how you can dye your hair with it. And, I'm probably never going to drink kool aid again, not that I liked in the first place.
Every day I'm bored. So I watch an array of kid's shows on the tube of you. So here are a ton of shows I loved.
1. Saved By the Bell. I used to think it was boring cause I was only in elementary school but......it's amazing. I had a slight crush on Zach Morris and mostly KELLY KAPOWSKI. Yowza.
2. Hey Arnold!-BEST SHOW EVER. You could learn so much. My favorite character was Nadine, the black girl with blonde braids who liked bugs.
3. Braceface-Mmm I loved that super Canadian cartoons. From smoking, drinking, getting blow up bras......it had it all. And it had an awesome half Italian/Chinese girl with red and black hair. I'm a sucker for interracial characters. Ahee.BRACE FACE! MY LIFE IS COMPLICATED-BOYFRIEND-I WORK IT OUT IN THE END-BRACEFACE! Best show ever.
4. Chalkzone-All I can say about this show is YAY.
5. As Told By Ginger-I was always super scared of the animation but I still liked it. It was rather deep, even if everyone had derp faces.
6. My Life As a Teenage Robot-THIS SHOW WAS AWESOME. But it only ran for about 2 years, which sucked.
There's also shows like Full House, Family Matters, The Cosby Show, and others but come on, you could totally expect me to like those shows. It's pretty much a given.
Lastly, there is the topic on Love Hurts by Nazareth. This cheesy heartbreaker has made me conjure up some snazzy ideas.
1. Three way slow dance with me, Lizzi, and BRANDON
2. Film a wistful Kpop soap opera scene in a car while it's raining outside
3. Film a scene where someone cries, eats ice cream and chocolate, watches soap opera, puts a gun to their head and it gets all dramatic but then they decide not to because they don't have the courage.
4. Fake sniffling over someone's picture.
5. Dedicate an entire soap opera with this one song and other variations of it playing. LOL.
I have no ideas now. Kbye.

Nostalgia......in a probably 1 fluid oz container.

Do you have music that clearly reminds you of exact places you've been while listening to it and when were there? Well, I guess it's sort of a stupid question to ask because I'm pretty sure everyone does that. For example, the little portion of the irritating mainstream dates back to when I was musically stupid. Well, I guess I wasn't...I was brought up with classical, folk, classic rock, etc. So I guess all the new stuff sort of fascinated me. Then there was my emo angsty rock period in the beginning of seventh grade where I swore to never listen to pop again. At the end of seventh, I was opening up to the stuff Lizzi gave me and just listening to her songs remind me so clearly of our San Francisco trip. The rest of my stuff reminds me of pretty small moments in time. The first Lady Gaga song I listened to brings me back of memories of sitting in the subway in Hong Kong. If I play songs during my guilty pleasure pop/artistic (aka a nice word for plainly weird) rock phase, I think about me hiding my double identity that I didn't want to do. This also happens to me through the types of hand sanitizer I use >.< Don't ask..A lot of memories are made by a teeny little plastic bottle from Bath and Body Works. What's weird is that it doesn't work through lotion....or body spray....just hand sanitizer. I remember using something that smelled like peaches and mint, and the smell reminds me when I was bored with school and this was sort of a pick me up. No, I didn't huff hand sanitizer. Another one that I used was this really strong candied apple scented stuff. It reminded me of gross Shahilish times. This is definitely a smell that my nostrils do not want to revisit. Slutty, girly, rotten, tainted, candy coated lies, hurt, poison....Strong words (sorta?) for a smell in a bottle that costed 1.50. Yesterday I paid a trip to the good ol' store and picked up some more because who knows how many STD's you can pick up around school with your hands and bought 5 more bottles. Who knows which parts and what kinds of my life are going to be represented in each tiny little bottle. Well, 2 bottles already smell like my past (they both date back to kindergarten when I made my first friend and we were playing with little girl perfume). But maybe more important things will take its place. Hopefully good things, because the funniest feeling is felt (whoa alliteration) when you smell it again in the future, and it's even stranger when it represents something good. It is an unholy mixture of happiness, wistfulness, and even a hint of sadness. Even the smallest things bring back a ton of memories. At first I don't notice, but then I actually think about it and BAM. Blast from the past. I could think about...say, a bag of ramen noodles or look at some of my mom's jewelry and feel like reminiscing. It's bizarrely powerful. I guess this is me sort of looking backwards and getting a feel of the future, even though who knows what it's going to bring me. All of this talk from music and hand cleaning fluids.
I'm a real deep person, aren't I? ;P

And for the top picture.....No one better wear that fucking scent around me or else I may cheerfully rip their bladder out. And you need that, by the way.

My Butt Fetish...and other Touching Delights

I'm 80 percent sure I have a butt fetish. I must say that I admire butts quite a bit. Well, except people who get tushie injections. That's just...no. I'm sorry if I "accidentally" graze anyone's butts. But not in Nic's case, I grab it on purpose. Mmmm. I'd tap that.....with a jackhammer....just kidding. Anyways..Here's a random and TOUCHING..(I hope) post. So I'll get the TOUCHING part done (literally and figuratively).

I simply CANNOT believe that this year has gone by oh so fast. I can clearly remember the first day of school and I can pretty much remember every single little detail about all the tournaments. There were downhill times this year that weren't too fantastic but overall, this is one of the best and most interesting years I've had by far. At first I thought this year would kind of suck since I didn't have Lizzi but we're still in touch and are life partners and I grew close with other people. I had some help from one sympathetic soul (hoho) and got hewhomustnotbenamed aka Hahilsay off my back. That sympathetic soul finally became my magnificent boyfriend and has stuck with me through shittastic and jizzworthy times. It kind of breaks my heart to say that this is the end of the year. Some of the people who I am used to seeing and having contact with won't be here and there's a huge chance I may never see them again. Well, this is the cycle and there's nothing we can do about it (except ....fail a few classes just for me ;P) SIGHH I can't berieve that this is going to happen every year. I just want to warn all the seniors that are graduating that I'm going to stain their gowns with my tears until the dye fades out and the gown turns into a blucky grey color. Just sayin'. Or I'll cry at the WRONG time (UGH I always do that!) I usually save the tears and emotional outburst for a rainy day (aka a few hours after that emotional event has occured) such as Senior night for marching band...I cried my face off as soon as I got home. Sigh. Twitch. I'm such a loser. Oh and also Arcadia, where I cried when I got home. That...was...depressing. Ohh my GOD this picture is so sad and cute. I looked like that when I used to cry, now I just look like a sniffling whale. Attractive.

So yesterday was the kickoff night. Holy jizz we have a lot of people. I remember saying I hated most of the kids one year younger than me....I wonder if the people in band last year said that too? Maybe I'm going to be hanging out with a lot of freshmen this year. Who knows! I hope these incoming freshmen are as cool (coughhackgag) as we were. I'm not sure if we all fit in the 'cool' category. More like grimy little nubs. Especially Lucas. Rusty is such a beast. I think I will become his super saiyan master and our section will be awesome. This also calls for huge low reed parties since we have.....345973469823459845 tenors. But........whinegroanhuffpuff we won't have 2 of the sekasee faces we're used to seeing. I also personally think we suck but hey it's the first time we've played the stuff, so hopefully we'll get better. I wonder if that's what the people thought last year as well. Mmmm lookit that clarinet.

I guess my resolution to solve my depression that erryone's leaving my face is to go into crazy pedo lurker mode, aka barrages of emails, cheesy ecards that involve dancing strudel, and 4 hour phone calls. Oh and I'll also use up the extra mileage we have and fly to an assortment of dorms all over Amurrica and bring y'all puffy stickers, apple beer, and cashews. Oh and I'm probably going to install little cameras and microchips on everyone so I can shock them when they visit naughty places like strip clubs and adult stores to buy anal beads and fluffy dildos. But then again, who needs that when you have a sax cleaner? Seriously. People better visit, though I doubt that's a promise no one keeps, 'cause I promised Mr. P and whatnot that I'd visit Mesa Verde, but I haven't gone there since......November. Sad. But then again it's different because high school band is infinity times 92 times better than middle school band. Middle school band was filled with loud and suckish people and annoying cheerleaders that joined it cause they thought it was an easy class. Or so they say.

Okay, well I didn't really touch up (oh baby) on the random part but I'm sure I'll get to that sometimes soon......In bed.

Erastic Fantastic

So since erryone has randomly had the love of kpop implanted into their souls currently, I would like to do a little rant n' rave (oh yes, what a cheesecakey name) about k pop in general. K pop....is bad. Really, really, terrible. But for some reason, the catchy one syllable choruses and bad Engrish is captivating and fuses some kind of thing in the mind which forces the brain to love it. COUGH me. And for the people who legitimately think it's actually good.......kind of have problems. But I think that's only 2% of us all.
Kpop is really fun and awesome and irritating and makes more sense than J pop, but what irks me about it is all the plastic surgery and segregation and lack of talent.
'Cause honestly, if our darling Rebeckerz Black was signed into K pop, everyone would magically love her. And the plastic surgery....it frustrates me how people wish they looked like some particular idol in the industry and how they want to obtain their sexiness, handsomeness, etc. when they themselves most likely looked better than the idol before the idol got plastic surgery. I mean, if I got plastic surgery, I'd be INSANELY hot. And I'm not even hot at all. 75% of all them kpop stars were kind of butterfaces back in the day. No offense. Since not too many of k pop artists can sing in real life, it kind of promotes that a) if you're hot and can dance decently, you can make big bucks! or b) sign this long ass contract and sell your soul to us after we make you a star we'll take care of your shitty singing and ugliness!
And segregation....I don't even know. I guess having a group of sexy ladies or fruity but hot men add more to the fanbase and make the entertainment company richer.
K pop is good cause bands (girl ones in general) can pull off slutty looks and don't look slutty at all. I don't even know if that counts as a good thing. But the keep the mens making white wee. They also have some kind of thing behind their music that white people simply can't do. And since it's in a different language, people don't know what it means so even if the song is about humping ladies and getting wasted, people think it's bowl cuttedly cute and innocent.

So I guess this is my take on K pop. It's good........just not all the time. Cause then you'll be completely brainwashed, and it might be worse than listening to mainstream stuff in America. Hopefully I don't sound like a hypocrite cause erryday I'm like OH YES I'MMA PELVIC THRUST TO KPOP but hey, I haven't discovered any oldies music and I'm really bored and need to pelvic thrust my worries away. Un tsss un tss un tss. I think this little R&R ( oh yeah I called it that) has made my love of Kpop grow. Time to review more k pop. And listen to it.
...someone please introduce me to better white person music. Please. Before I have a kpop jizz attack.
Okay bye. Have y'all noticed my posts have gotten lamer with time? I know :(

Thinking Ahead, That's What Asian Parents Are For

It's been a while. I know. Unlike a web star or super blog personality, I'm not going to say "Errone's been nagging me to post, and I said, may-bayy, may-bay not, that's the funnnnn!" BUT....My parents HAVE been nagging me about college, BUT a pro in that is that I've been searching up good colleges that I'd consider going to in 3 years. If this year passed by super quickly, the 3 left will too. And I better hold on tight....to my penor, that is. It might get lost in time. Or make nice with a black hole when it gets lost in time. But, here are the choices I have conjured up or have considered for a while.

1. UCSD (Close to home.....though that may not be the BEST idea..haha)
2. UCLA (The school erryone wants to go to. I love the area it's in but damn. LA is a huge ghetto.)
3. UCSF (San Francisco is such a bitchin' city. From the 4 times I've been there....it's amazing. UCSF also is a medical school which is something my parents encourage and I also am kind of interested in health science. And if I want to pursue my music, I can do that for fun. It won't be hard getting my hands (oh babababy) on great music. )
4. UWash. (Is in Seattle. Another awesome city. UWash has a really pretty campus and has such a wide variety of classes to take. Plus it's close to Canada, aka HEAVEN. Except not really. But pretty close.)
5. UCIrvine. (Close to home, full of Asians...though Irvine is sort of a boring place.)
6. UVic....(Mmm in Canada. In Victoria. FILLED WITH BUNNIES. )
My mom says I may not go to "out of the country" schools unless I get a scholarship.

I also have no idea what I'm going to do when I grow up. Oh well. I think.
But I realllllly want to go to UCSF.
Like I said......it's been a while.

How to Make Love While Conscious

Despite my misleading title, I would like to do a little rant about women. Ah, how the opposite gender confuses me. Just kidding. I'm pretty sure I'm a girl. I hope. Well, here goes everything.
1. Girls DO fart and poop. Men, I'm sure you have been convinced by the stupid myth that girls do not fart...or POOP. No matter how dainty, sexy, or slutty we are, we do fart. Though we hide it more slyly than the males do, yes, we do not fart in people's faces, we still have had terrible acts of flatulence. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED on pooping! Like Taro Gomi has stated in this lovely picture book that I have NEVER gotten for my birthday, though I have requested it on my wishlist about 23479 times, erryone makes duh poopoo. All girls have had diarrhea or constipation. Well, everyone except me...I have no anus. Ahee!
2. Girls are not ALWAYS won over by flowers and all that crap. I mean seriously, if the two people love each other, who would really give a damn about flowers/chocolates/vibrators (ohh yeaah). The thing about couples in the modern days is that even if two people are together (not pre relationship stage), they shallowly expect expensive(at times), mushy (ohh yes) crap delivered to them to make them happy. I guess it's really not love or anything because if they really did love each other, they wouldn't even care about material stuff and would be ecstatic just breathing the same air as the other person. You don't need to be fancy. You sort of just need to be yourself, instead of some poser casanova swoon tastic chunky hunky dreamsicle. Don't take out your money. It's insulting. This is really the main thing I wanted to talk about. It's been bugging me for a while. But I'll continue.
3. Women do not make love with their _____. Most cases of the blank space are usually prized posessions, like goulash, shoes, wonder bras, blah blah blah. They treat them like you do with your porno collection and fetish magazines.
4. Women are kinder, gentler, quieter, and more romantic than men. ERR ERR ERR ERR ERR. One of these counterexamples is me! I am definitely not as kind, gentle, or quiet than the average male. On the other hand, I'm quite romantic. No one can resist my charms as I lure them in with my banana/cucumber eating and masticating of assorted nuts. Aww yeah. I just had an erection the size of a blimp. There are many women that are brutal and love kicking the testicles of men. One example of these women is Ellen. Don't worry, I'm not insulting her. She takes this as a compliment.
5. Women have hearts. FUCK NO! Look at this nifty little diagram that represents a woman's heart. Well, at least this is what my heart looks like. Black, dark, never ending....

Though all of my answers are quite brief except 2 (Yeah that was kind of the main point of my post anyways :P) I would like to thank you for viewing this lovely FAQ with Dr. Natarhee, the voluptuous, less bald counterpart of Dr. Phil.
The end.

101 Super Uses For Tampon Applicators!

Something that is old has been racking my brain. That, my friends is the ignorant blonde mademoiselle from UCLA. Honestly, what I think part of what she is saying kind of makes a point. Unfortunately, I find Asian people jabbering in the library pretty damn annoying. The thing is....she's being ignorant, e.g "TING TONG LING LONG CHING CHONG" and keeps on going "You're in AH-MUHR-ICA! herpderp!" "I'm an Ahmurrkin princesserz!" The other thing is......why must you spew out this video when you're in UCLA?! Really now. I'm not entirely sure how she got admitted but I'll guess she a) seduced whoever runs it or a) seduced whoever who is in charge of grades to giver her a 4.4444444444445 GPA. Though I agree that Asians yakking in the library is irritable, I'm glad UCLA kicked this ho out. At least her and her tits will have new beginnings in the porn industry! Ho hum!

Second of all, I would like to state the magnificentness of the Nyan cat and the Korean Rickroll.
The Nyan cat is unlike no other. It is a small, pixelated gray kitty cat with a pop tart body that is shitting out a rainbow as it soars across a galaxy to catchy music. That's all. And that's the beauty of it. Thank you, Nic. Second is "Itaewon Freedom" aka the Korean Rickroll. This exciting MV includes: poofy 80's haired Korean men prancing around Seoul/Itaewon, hitting on one foxy lady, and pelvic thrusting like no tomorrow. This video was introduced to me by the lovely Simon and Martina, two sekasee hipster Wasians who vlog about Kpop, food, officetels, and their fohawked green doggie.

I also want to rant about shifty Chinese food from shifty Chinese places. Though the food may look a brilliant crimson red color and is served with a bunch of sliced up onions, it very well MAY give you very explosive diarrhea. I swear I almost made a poopty pootaaay during the musical yesterday and smelled like a shitbarn. That didn't make sense, but it did in my brain. All I really have to say is......shifty Chinese food from shifty Chinese places = or maybe even > to shifty Mexican food from shifty Mexican places. And Japanese and Korean food? Nah. Those places are waaaay too sanitary to spill your guts out. Remember kids........if you get served food that resembles a mouse vagina......do- I mean..DON'T eat it. No matter how tempted you are. I've always wanted to know what a mouse vagina tasted like. Just kidding.Awwwww yeeee. Chicken head. Hen head.

Last and.....sort of the least is the marvelous Coachella music festival! A music festival in the boring general location of the boring Palm Springs...wear celebrities and common, unwashed folk breathe the same air, try to look "hipster", and listen and pretend to admire oddball fronted visual-kei bands. I sort of kid the third statement. More like oddball fronted a) adult-alternative b) art-punk c) really bad new wave d) Indie rock e) reggae grunge. I don't know about e, though I find that quite possible. Two things that generally irritate me about Coachella are: 1) The HUGE amount of people trying to dress as cracked out hipsters. They don't wear pants..aka the stds have eaten up their pants and are working on their shirts...ripped up potato sacks, hairbands that poof your hair, ankle converses, ugly rompers, chunky glasses, wilted daisies, tight pants, no pants, don't bathe for days, fedoras, bohemian skirts, nipple high trousers, tube socks, short shorts, fringed leather jackets, anything American Apparel or Urban Outfitters, ugly cardigans, crinkly rompers, salvation army stuff, vintage hearing aids, old marching band uniforms, fanny packs, plaid scarves, etc. Though I like many of these clothing choices and accessories, mostly fanny packs and nipple high trousers (oh bababy), I find it gross how people overdo it on this day. Please, inform me on more hipster clothing trends that I have missed. And as far as accessories go, you could be toting clunky headphones, huge lomography cameras (swoon I actually really love them).....or a really hot Asian or some other ethnic girlfriend who is a graphic designer and rocks out on upright bass. Or a matching drugged out hipster lady. I find it sort of sad that the definition of "hipster" is someone who finds nonconformity cool...and then here we have a ton of people conforming to look like them..so technically....the term "hipster" doesn't really make sense. Nonconformity is totally fine. I think it shouldn't be labeled, because really, everyone sort of has that element in them.......unless you're a bimbo, cheerleader, druggie. I understand. What weird is that I feel that I'm being sort of contradicting....Some of these clothing things are cool. And hipster......I think that word should be banned. The term is so pliable you could really give it 8234923757 definitions. Well this was really pointless. But I hope you sort of understand my point o' view.
And ohmyjizz. A CRAIGSLIST ASIAN GIRLFRIEND HIPSTER HOOKER. I just died. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/38889776.html

I'm done! I just ate some kind of Asian calzone and I'm gonna poop.

She Is the One Named Shairor Moooooon

Kids, the universal Asian girl show back in the day was in fact NOT Ni Hao Kai Lan. It is actually a tie between the super cheesy Chinese princess drama Huan Zhu Ge Ge and Sailor Moon. Except Huan Zhu Ge Ge was Chinese so I guess Sailor Moon was technically the life of all Asian girls back then, blowing Hello Kitty out of the water. Sailor Moon was pretty much pre pubescent but EXTREMELY well endowed girls who fought crime in short skirts and stilettos and were all named after planets. And like the yoosh, they were "normal children" by day and smexy, slutty crime fighting lassies by night. Oh yeah.

So let me educate the whole world on them, even though you could read wikipedia. And I'm not going to do the whole freaking cast. I'm just writing about them (all the sailor scouty womenish things). And maybe the irritating man as well. My interpretations are AMAZING though.
First off was Sailor Moon in her red while and blue ensemble. Her hair reminds me of linguine and apples and she was an annoying crybaby with crazy seduction powers. I found her insanely annoying and stupid but I respected her at the same time, which is kind of strange. Throughout the story, she gains many annoying titles and gets many makeovers.

Second was Sailor Venus, the orange one. I found her annoying, ditzy, boring and blond as well. I'm pretty sure she was probably jealous of Sailor Moon and her smexy rendezvous-s with her bohfraind and probably was his ho. She was a little smarter than Sailor Moon, but was sort of needy because every episode she was like "Mmmmm hey boys!!! *flutter eyelashes*" "I think I just dropped a pencil, aheehee! *bends down*" Just kidding about the second part......I think, but I wouldn't be surprised if that happened.

Third was Sailor Jupiter, the green one. I didn't remember much of her but I remembered she was quite badass with green baubles in her hair and liked beating people up and had lumberjack muscles. But she was all mushy too, like offering people rice balls and wanted to own some flower/cake shop? I dunno but she was one of my favorites. AND WHO DOESN'T LIKE HER COMBAT BOOT HIGH HEELS?!

Then there was Sailor Mars, the red one. She was another one of my favorites. Okay, the unblond ones were mostly my favorites, sort of. She was a feisty priestess in training who at first was like "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu sailor moon! I shall take your place as the leader! BWAHAHAHA!" Unfortunately that did not go down well and sadly she wasn't the leader. Aww. Who wouldn't have picked such a classy young lady to be the leader/princess of whatever?

Fourth was Sailor Mercury, the blue one. She was a bland tomboy who read a bunch of books and had a high IQ and had a blue lesbo haircut. Weirdly, she had no lesbo affairs with anyone throughout the series to my knowledge. She also went to the dark side for a little bit, and yes, the quiet ones usually go bad.

Ah yes! I must not forget the amaaaazing lesbo couple!! Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune, sighhh. I used to hate them and not understand why they were always together and embracing and whatnot but now I know. They're lesbians. Which makes them off the bat two of the amazingest characters in Sailor Moon. Sailor Uranus was the man in the relationship with her blond crew cut....but not really and Sailor Neptune had lovely flowing locks of teal hair. Sailor Neptune was a classy painter and artist and general and Uranus is a hardcore race car driver who enjoys flirting with women. In real life, she dresses like a classier Ellen Degeneres. People have often asked if Uranus was a hermaphrodite, but according to the creator, she is not. Darn.

Then there was Sailor Pluto, who was also insanely badass, sultry, and mysterious. She had dark green hair and a sultry black and white latex schoolgirl dress and made my panties get tied in a knot. She also had really cool powers. Like dead scream. How cutting edge.

After that there was Sailor Saturn. She wore dark dark blue and had a large scary stick. That's all I remembered. But she was my all time favorite. Yet I know the least about her. She also has fancy footwear.

Then there was the deucey tuxedo mask. He quite the womanizer and probably hit on all of the ladies except the lesbians because they're too good for him. He annoyed me and his constant mushiness with Sailor Moon was irritating. I would always be like "derrrr didn't he admit his love for her LAST episode *rips hair out*"

Then there was the extremely annoying Sailor Chibi Moon. Aka Sailor Mini Moon. She was preppy, dressed in all pink, and I wanted to punch her. She had weird powers like pink fluffy ponies or something or frozen puppy rainbows, etc. and would cry a lot.

Last would be sailor CHIBI CHIBI moon. Aka mini me of Chibi Moon. She was 2 or something and was a reddish pink ginger. Yay!

Then, there are a bunch of antagonists but who cares about them?! Plus, my fingers are dying. AND.......HERE IS THE SAILOR MOON THEME SONG, WOO!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6_RZhh44NY

I might've just orgasmed from nostalgia overload. Also, my friend and I really were obsessed about sailor moon. We tried drawing her, we made those v things that all of them wore on their foreheads with construction paper, we had cards and posters, and memorabilia. Good times.

Kid Show/LSD Infused Dreams

Yesterday while I was extremely warm and sleeping and on meds, I had the weirdest dream ever. It wasn't one of those scary dreams I usually get, but this one was just plain creepy. It was slightly based on the Wiggles and Sesame Street, I presume.
So basically, everyone in band went somewhere in the middle of a really small desert town some place some where on the universe for a tournament. In the middle of this small town was this really weird colorful building and apparently it was some optical illusion gimmick tourist trap thing. So Ms. Webb, the charming dahling she is forces all of us to go there because we have a lot of time on our hands and she doesn't want us robbing banks and peeing everywhere.
At first, everyone is in some parking lot being bored and rolling around in sand dunes. Then I see Katie, Lucas, Naomi, and Alex go into the place, so I decide to follow along ten minutes after. Then, people decide to go in because they're afraid of inhaling more sand. Yum. Inside, the place is super weird. It's really colourful and looks like a set of the Wiggles. Except more LSD infused. I don't even know how it worked. It was magical. And bizarre. Our guide looked exactly like my Chinese teacher (with the bowl cut and salt and pepper hair) except she was white. And her assistant was one of Ms. Tanaka's TAs. The first weird optical illusion was everyone got some folded up shirt, had to wear it over their clothes, and within ten minutes, they would turn into another band member....one time, everyone turned into Abby. And real Abby was high or something, she was eating a cookie and kept on smacking people in the face with it. I don't even know why. And after 5 minutes of being someone else, you would eventually fade into your own self, but during that process, your face would be mixed in with the person that you got changed into. I guess it was like a polyjuice potion. But not really. The second thing was this wall with a bunch of dangerous steps on it made of huge legos, separated wood bars, etc. Next to the wall were a bunch of bars with feather dusters connected to them. Our guide/my Chinese teacher did a demo. She tested out all of the feather dusters UNTIL one actually tickled and made her laugh. Then, she walked up the dangerous steps on the wall, and we realized she didn't have legs. They were these weird robot legs made out of colorful plastic. So everyone tried out the feather dusters and walked up the steps with different legs. Weird.
The next thing was this weird fabric puzzle that resembled our scrim in the 4th movement of our field show except the pictures were colorful smiling caterpillars. Or the worms from Sesame Street. I'm pretty sure these worms haunted my dreams.
People used their minds to bring the puzzle together and then it changed color and burst into flames. Then while this magnificent process was going on, I'm pretty sure Skyler went gay for Dillon. I think he was resting his head on him and was babbling about the burst of color and beautifulness of the occuring scenario. Then, my mom barged into the room and told me to wake up, brush my teeth, and go to sleep.
I'm on drugs, I swear.*Cue Electric Feel by MGMT*
Seriously. If you want to feel the acid trip I felt in my dream, read this post and listen to Electric Feel. You will indeed feel my pain.

Llamas in Pajamas

Today I went to school....I was warm and felt all weird and soft and I also felt like my breasts were going to explode. Rule of thumb when you're sick: Don't even THINK about going to school when you think your private parts are going to ex/im plode. Oh and did you know that I just adore the Jonas brothers? Larry, Moe, and.......amirite? ;P Unfortunately, I actually don't like them but I have to admit I enjoy K pop. A lot. But only the girl bands. Don't even think about questioning my lesbian tendencies. I think straight girls would go gay and gay guys would go straight for all the attractive women in the K pop industry, sadly. Oh wait. I do like something about the Jonas brothers! They have extremely prominent unibrows, mmm. You know how I get around the monobrowed men. But who wouldn't love the music of bubbly Asian girls jumping around in pastel attire giggling and doing the grapevine? I wouldn't......at least that's what I thought a year ago, but unfortunately the handsome Asian devil Paul Hwang turned me to the dark side. Since I can't find a picture of him, here's a lookalike of this hunk.
I would also like to talk about the overratedness of unicorns. Sure, unicorns are beautiful and almighty but GET OVER IT! THEY AREN'T REAL!!!!!! Narwhals are 80 times better than unicorns. Unicorns suck. The only time when they don't suck is when they poop marshmallows and jizz glitter. Unicorns are the epitome/representation of overly sheltered children that read way too many fairy tales. Which.....might've been me a few years ago.
Another things I would like to brush up on is......farts. FLAUNT YOUR FLATULENCE! I think the weirdest place to fart would probably be in a tanning bed.....Think about it. You're trapped in this tiny closed space, and your fart would spread around, suffocating you. And in a fridge. That would be weird too. Fart stoppers?
A date that is coming up real soon is MARCH 8th, which is internation women's day. I'm going to go bra-less, get a lesbian haircut, ride nude through the streets on a llama/horse/alpaca like Lady Godiva, punch men in the crotch, fatten up models with twinkies, turn porn stars into respectable, badass women, and swim in a pool filled with shirley temple substance? Why? I dunno, shirley temples are quite good.
The end.
Shown above is Natalie Zhang on women's day, gaily riding an alpaca through the crowded streets of cosmopolitan areas.