Kpoop Moosic Nooz.

I haven't posted about Kpop in a while so I'm at it right now. Plus I mention ONE Jpop song. Hurhur. Here are some of the songs I've aquired this summer!
U Go Girl-Lee Hyori. Lee Hyori is like....the Britney Spears of Korea. This song is so terribly bad but it's so catchy. The mispronounced words are hilarious. "GUR. GUR. HAY YOO GOH GUR." Plus the music video is encouraging girls to go under the knife to get hot guys. Besides this video Hyori has done other stuff that is way better..Sort of.
Mr. Simple-Super Junior. Super Junior's comeback! "Hay! I'm Mistehr Simpuur!" Another fail in the beginning. Most people are picking out the part when they're like "Because I naughty naughty." But that part doesn't bother me. The song is pretty good for a comeback besides the weird orgasmic out of breath rapping.
Freestyle-4minute. 4minute's English phrases have improved drastically. I mean, they aren't my favorite but I always wind up listening to them. I think they recorded this for some kind of video game. I like the beginning but then it slowly turns into the 30 second ballady part of their songs. 4minute is like a more ghetto (in a bad way) and fakishly sexy version of 2ne1. But they're still catchy.
Hard But Easy (LOLOLO)-Luna and Krystal from f(x) The title made me cry with laughter. I wanted a solo song from Luna cause she has impressive chops but this was pretty good. Obviously it was recorded for a K drama.
Now-Wonder Girls. This is a cover of a song that was originally recorded by Lee Hyori's old girl group. I like it, even though they don't have very strong vocals.
Ugly-2ne1. WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT. That's all. The MV is cool. The chorus is lame.
Hate You-2ne1 Good and repetitive and the music video blew my underpants off.HOLY SHIT BOM. She looks so creepy. Please don't get another nose and eyelid job again.
I Am the Best-2ne1. Like a tribal techno sacrifice.Minzy looks hot. I underestimated her before.
Nothing Lasts Forever-Girl's Day. I liked the whiny vocals! I thought Girl's Day was an underage band. They aren't. :SI'm trying to look for more.
Mirror, Mirror-4minute. "Four minute slut! Four minute slut." It's 4 minutes LEFT. Get it right, bitches. Overall this was a good song but was scrutinized for its giving birth esque dancing. Leave it to Hyuna to get all slutty.
Bubble Pop!-Hyuna from 4minute. Hyuna is probably my least favorite kpop singer ever. She has a weird nasally little boy voice and acts way too sexy for like.....a 16 year old? Something like that. If she's 18 I'll let it go but in Korea you can't get as skanky as her. Anyways, this song was pretty bad and hilarious with the butt shaking and NO bubble popping whatsoever and the dubstep incorporated in it. Check that out.Yum, boob flashing.
Love Song-Big Bang. I loved this! No terrible engrish pronunciations PLUS a classy MV and graceful chicken dancing! WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR.
I'll Be Back-2PM. This song was meh. When I heard it in the hotel in Qingdao I was like yum yum but now it's just whiny and like a poopstain.
Copy and Paste-BoA. BoA is considered the best dancer in the kpop music industry. She doesn't have a great voice but ya really can't have it all. This reminds me of ghetto safari adventures.
My Name-BoA. This one reminds me of Spain, techno, and cinnamon buns.
Goodbye Baby-miss A. Comeback!! I like this because they sounded a lot more mature. I also gained lots of respect for Fei and I now know how naturally pretty she is because before she didn't wear any makeup and I was like "meh." People try to compare 2ne1 and miss A like so:
Bom:Suzy
Jia: Dara
Min: Minzy
Fei:CL
But in my p0int of view:
Jia:Bom. Both of them are striking and have unique voices.
Suzy:Dara You can't help but like them. They may not be SUPER amazing singers and dancers but they're still definitely above average (definitely better than me.), plus they're just cute.
Min:CL Min talks the most as well as CL and they have the most charisma.
Fei: Minzy. They can both dance frigging amazingly and sing decently.
Goodbye Happiness-Utada Hikaru. The jpop song! After listening to this, I like jpop more than kpop. It's just that I have no exposure to jpop and no one really listens to it except the weaboos at school. And they listen to pokemon music.
Go Go Summer!-KARA. KARA is getting way more annoying. They started all gangsta and now it's all pink and foofy. The song was good for their phone ad though.
Hot Summer-f(x). I hated this at first. But then I got extremely turned on by Luna. Yum. I love her.
THE END. I think your brains probably combusted in a fit of lust thinking about Luna's thighs.
Or is that just me?

A Super Late Review Of Born This Way. PLUS I MADE PANCAKES THIS MORN.

Is it bad that I loved this cover?

I made super delicious pancakes today. I followed a recipe but they tasted a little more asian. I also used a little more oil than I should've but it tasted even better. If I break out in zits, oops. It was worth it though. I've been craving pancakes since........3 months ago. PANCAKU.
I'm going to review Born This Way like I planned to a while ago. I didn't because I didn't want to exercise my fingers. And my commentary would be like "This was pretty good/bad/potato."
Since it's pretty early today I shall start commentating! Hoho. Strangely I like Beyonce's 4 better than this. I know. Strange. Here I go.
1. Marry the Night-I was a bit bored with this. I also never really listened thoroughly, but it was just a hodgepodge of stuff that kind of bored me.
2. Born This Way-I thought it was going to be a slow song when she was sort of doing live teasers of it, but it turned out to be fast. I didn't love it in the beginning but it sort of grew a little on me. Plus it has a good message and you can feel some of those Madonna vibes lodged in there.
3. Government Hooker-I LOVED THIS. Especially the yodeling in the beginning to the small parts when she says "Ay mi papito." Classic.
4. Americano-This song wasn't my favorite but it was pretty cool because of the lyrics that told a story. The beginning sounded cliche but I guess it was a unique song overall.
5. Judas-Funny, I really hated this song because I hated the repetition of "Judas" but this one grew on me the most. I really like it now and I'm glad it came out as her second single.
6. Hair-This is one of my top favorites. I replayed this song like 23948239742937492374 times. I liked the saxophone in it and the dancey 80's feel. It wasn't as out there as Born This Way but it still had a strong message. Plus hair + freedom? Cool and weird comparison.
7. Scheisse-Scheisse means 'shit' in German. So when I found that out and inserted it into the song, it was like "SHIT BE MINE." Which sounds cool when you say it in a tough trucker voice. But the German didn't make sense at all. This song grew on me second fastest. I used to think there was way too much repetition but that's what makes this song itself.
8. Bloody Mary-I liked the intro, but this song was kind of sluggish like Marry the Night and Electric Chapel. There may've been faster parts but I just got really bored in the beginning.
9. Bad Kids-I loved this. It reminded me of Spice Girls/Madonna gone MAVERICK. ROGUE. Seeearah Peeahlin.
10. Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)-So I'm guessing Gaga was completely stoned when she wrote this. I used to think it was really stupid with her songs about ponies and unicorns but this eventually grew on me. Probably because it always came on when I did shuffle and I was too much of a lazyass to change it.
11. Heavy Metal Lover-I really like this! The intro is a bit slow but it got going after 40 seconds and I loved it.
12. Electric Chapel-BORRRING. I'm sorry. This was one of the 4 songs I actually downloaded before buying the CD and this one was the one I hated the most.
13. You and I-I had no way of putting the umlaut on the 'u'. But, this song was really nice and ballady but it was very repetitive. It was like Verse 1 YOU AND I YOU AND I x12 verse 2 YOU AND I YOU AND I x3495 Guitar solo YOU AND I YOU AND I (insert some growls and moans) x345. I liked how Brian May (guitarist in Queen) was featured in it but this is definitely not the best of her ballads.
14. Lastly there's Edge Of Glory-Some people thought this was a weak track but I personally liked it. It was adrenaline causing. It was simple but not way too repetitive and it was unique and it had the longest sax solo.
I also had the bonus track Fashion Of His Love: Her voice was a little chipmunky but I liked how it sounded Whitney Houston infused. And a tiny smidge of Spice Girls.
Overall, Born this Way has deeper meaning than the Fame and the Fame Monster and it has a tougher sound, but I think her versatility in the last two albums were a bit better. A ton of her songs sounded really different but now a lot of them sound not the same, but generally speaking 'similar' because all she really uses now is synthesizer and heavy beats and I don't know. You'd have to listen to the albums.
I also wish she used a different album cover. It's not easy to take the cover seriously but after a while I got used to it. She did so many photos for it and she picked this one. I guess it's not terrible but really now? I was expecting tentacles (oh baby), dismembered plastic babies, and dancing capybaras. Yup.

I'M SO EXCITED.........I'M SO EXCITED.......I'M SO..........SCAREDDD.

LOLOLOLOLO

So you might wonder nowadays, "WOW. Natalie has a ton of ideas." Wrong. I sat in bed at 4AM churning ideas out. I do so much for my limited viewers, and I probably shouldn't. I've been using the computer from 10 AM today and multitasking and such that I literally feel my brain frying. This is going to be a rather hipster post, with obscure topics like "Worst Places To Have Diarrhea", "Vintage Cars", "Kool Aid Hair", "Shows from duh 90's slash early 2000's", and lastly "What Lizzi and I Plan To Do While Listening to 'Love Hurts' By Nazareth." I'll start out with the diarrhea talk. I myself have had diarrhea in many bad places, mostly in China. But no one cares. You could fart in public and get away with it. So here's a mighty fine list of bad places to blow chunks in reverse.
1. In your pants. That's a given......it's hereditary and runs in your JEANS/GENES!!!! HAHAHAH-I might've mentioned that one before.
2. Large stores such as Wal Mart and whatnot. There's usually a crowded bathroom and you feel embarrassed as people hear your butt thunder and see you walk out. The walk of shame. The mixed smell of poop and unwashed people (just kidding) adds to the sense of sheer terror.
3. On a boat. You can assume why.
4. Right before sexual intercourse. LOL.
5. On a ski lift. And the ski lift stops.
6. In single person bathrooms. You see, even though there are many stalls in normal public bathrooms, you could just point fingers at others.
7. In a movie theater on a date.
8. On the catwalk. You can imagine.......strut those thighs.........SPLATTTTTT.
9. In the pool.Dream car. The guy standing in front of it is such a bro. You can tell by his flamin' hot shirt.
Since yall are probably insanely grossed out, I will move on to my next topic, vintage cars.
As soon as I can drive, I will use my life savings of 270 dollars (I'D HAVE A LOT MORE IF MY MOM DIDN'T STEAL MY MONEY) and get a really old crusty car with flames. Preferably a ford roadster, you know, those ancient cars that look like boxy houses and whatnot. Or a volkswagen bus. My mom is very wary on the idea and said that if "I become doctah!" I can collect vintage cars. Hell no! I want to drive one. If my mom doesn't let me get a delicious rustbucket......I might cry. Plus I don't even really like cars so why would I collect them? I'd rather collect snowglobes. You could experience the 30's-70's in it. People probably smoked pot in it. Or had sex in it. Or illegally shipped chimpanzees or humans with it. Or gave birth in it. Honestly if I wouldn't be able to get these sultry cars, I'd just get a smallish car with good mileage, better for the environment, and it would HAVE to be a cool color. If nothing fits my criteria, I guess I'll just have to blade or segway everywhere. I don't mind!Kool aid hurrrrr.
I've been pestering/subtly hinting to my mom that I want to dip dye my hair a dark blue and that it doesn't damage your hair so I've been obsessively looking online how to dye it. (even though she probably won't let me.) I came across a page of how to dip dye your hair with KOOL AID. So I guess kool aid is terribly bad for you. It stains your insides. Lucky blonde people, not having to bleach their hair to dye it. But anyways....you mix kool aid with conditioner, soak your hair in it, and it comes out with a light and cute sherbet color. It's pretty awesome. But it still disturbs me how you can dye your hair with it. And, I'm probably never going to drink kool aid again, not that I liked in the first place.
Every day I'm bored. So I watch an array of kid's shows on the tube of you. So here are a ton of shows I loved.
1. Saved By the Bell. I used to think it was boring cause I was only in elementary school but......it's amazing. I had a slight crush on Zach Morris and mostly KELLY KAPOWSKI. Yowza.
2. Hey Arnold!-BEST SHOW EVER. You could learn so much. My favorite character was Nadine, the black girl with blonde braids who liked bugs.
3. Braceface-Mmm I loved that super Canadian cartoons. From smoking, drinking, getting blow up bras......it had it all. And it had an awesome half Italian/Chinese girl with red and black hair. I'm a sucker for interracial characters. Ahee.BRACE FACE! MY LIFE IS COMPLICATED-BOYFRIEND-I WORK IT OUT IN THE END-BRACEFACE! Best show ever.
4. Chalkzone-All I can say about this show is YAY.
5. As Told By Ginger-I was always super scared of the animation but I still liked it. It was rather deep, even if everyone had derp faces.
6. My Life As a Teenage Robot-THIS SHOW WAS AWESOME. But it only ran for about 2 years, which sucked.
There's also shows like Full House, Family Matters, The Cosby Show, and others but come on, you could totally expect me to like those shows. It's pretty much a given.
Lastly, there is the topic on Love Hurts by Nazareth. This cheesy heartbreaker has made me conjure up some snazzy ideas.
1. Three way slow dance with me, Lizzi, and BRANDON
2. Film a wistful Kpop soap opera scene in a car while it's raining outside
3. Film a scene where someone cries, eats ice cream and chocolate, watches soap opera, puts a gun to their head and it gets all dramatic but then they decide not to because they don't have the courage.
4. Fake sniffling over someone's picture.
5. Dedicate an entire soap opera with this one song and other variations of it playing. LOL.
I have no ideas now. Kbye.

Aqueous Martinis and Other Things That Have To Do With H20

While there's like 2 more weeks of summer, I have only just begun to do things summery, such as swimming. Thankfully I don't have to do swim team, and I have some rather scary and heartwarming and disturbing stories from the time I was at Miramar and Mt. Carmel. I didn't really have any strange stories from Mt. Carmel, only that Adam Siegel is a terrible swimmer and Nathan Siegel is a lot worse. My 6th grade body rocked them till Canada Day. I remember Austin/Anand Marshall was on my swim team at Miramar College and he always hung out with this small wannabe scene girl who wore waterproof eyeliner. They got married with plastic rings and Lyu Pentov's little brother was their child. Then he talked about tanning his thighs for speedo season and that made me change my mind that he was becoming straight again. I also remember at a swim meet I bonked my ear on the wall doing backstroke but I got 2nd anyways. OH YEAH. I also remember having major crotch cramps (cameltoe causing swimsuit) and back tans and goggle tans. My hair also hurt because of the swim cap. Those sucked. My swimsuit looked like this and the tan lines were not pretty. I remember when I took my ID card picture in sixth grade, I had a raccoonish goggle tan and really bleachy brown hair. So why did I quit swim team? One day this chick grabbed my ankle because she wanted to pass me so she ended up like choking me. Then I went completely apeshit and forced my mom to let me quit. Now I swim solo and work out my Chun Li thighs. Of course I would get good at the strokes that people don't really care about, e.g backstroke and breaststroke. Of course I'd get good at breaststroke. Schwingggg. Did you know that doing the dolphin kick for butterfly is pretty much humping the water? I didn't notice that until a year ago.
Out of all of the pools I've swam in, Miramar College is the best, even though they may have bitchy life guards. Who cares if the kid runs on deck? When they fall and break a limb, they'll know right from wrong. Just kidding. Safety first. Use protection. The Miramar/Ned Baumer pool also has a wide assortment of sultry old men in speedos. I also saw a lady with a huge butt and cottage cheesy thighs. It was weird cause her face looked normal but then BAM.
Mt. Carmel has a nice pool too but I DON'T SEE THEM HAVING A BIG YELLOW SLIDE LIKE MIRAMAR COLLEGE'S. When I saw the "big yellow slide", I thought of a euphemism for my penis. LOL.
Westview has a good pool even though it's always kind of cold and every time I swim in it now I think of the fish being thrown in it on the second to last day of school. When I swam in it on Friday it smelled like seafood
which made me shudder.
Lastly there's the good ole YMCA. They suck. And that's it. Diarrhea splotches at the bottom of the pool and crusty band aids.
Is it embarrassing that I wanted to be a merman? Not mermaid, MERMAN. I somehow felt like mermen were 2384923 times hotter than mermaids with their creamy pectorali and ovalesque neepoes. Don't forget the Fabio hair. Question of the day....do mermaids have vaginas? That is up to you all to find out.
When I swim in a pool I think about how kids pee in it and wonder what would happen if there was no chlorine in the pool. I'd be swimmin' in urine! And I'd blend in, but that's besides the point.
I'm sort of done talking about pools since they're slightly boring. So here's the poop joke(s) of the day!
Turtle Poop: The kind of poop that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finally comes out.
Here's a fart joke. Hoho. Beefy fart: Sounds loud, and will smell a bit like the rotting offspring of a BSE infected cow and a dog turd.
So there ya have it!

The Fashion Edition aka I Love a Man In Uniform ( Or TURTLENECK.)

Thanks, Justin. Paving the way for men to wear turtlenecks.

I like men in turtlenecks. Is that wrong? I hope not. If I saw Alf or Brandon in a turtleneck I'd probably laugh and throw up. I guess all kinds of turtlenecks are preferable, but I think beige soft ones are insanely orgasmic. Seeing a guy in a turtleneck makes my panties drop to the floor in an instant. To me, turtlenecks just scream "I'm a masculine hunk who's not afraid to show off me prominent nipples, gorgeous personality, dangerous curves, AND my knowledge of quality fabric!" Basically if you want me to get you pregnant, wear a beige/cream cashmere turtleneck and play dubstep. I don't exactly like dubstep, but it reminds me of robot intercourse and really REALLY makes me want to hump everything in my sight. I swear, my crotch starts tingling and it is my instinct to knock someone down to the floor and yell "YOU LIKE THAT, BITTTTCHHHHHHH?!!!!" while they beg with mercy as I tie them up and take out the handcu-Wait what? Back to the turtleneck story. *wipes off crusted drool at corner of mouth* As well as turtlenecks, I enjoy a man who wears flannel, long johns, vegan footwear, and wife beaters. You could say that this man is a representation of me when I fly through the dubstep humpty dumpty phrase, and you could say that I would let this man fondle my body. Just because he's wearing a wife beater.
Meeeee-yow. I also like sweater vests with argyle patterns and ANYTHING pleather on a man. Pleater is patent leather. Which technically is fake and slutty leather. That technically means that I love a man who looks nice in hooker heels. Luckily, that's true!This isn't pleather, but I'd tap anything in these heels. I'd probably throw in a few 100's in the heels.
I also like a man in uniform, so you can probably assume that I want to rape everyone during marching season, which I do. If an array of people wear these sultry clothing articles to school one day, I'll presume it is my birthday and be surprised that people actually REMEMBERED and I'll get the biggest girl boner ever. Damn. I'd drop to the floor.
Does anyone else look at patterns and think about what kind of people they represent? I think I'm the only one who does that, but then again I'm a special case. To me, houndstooth reminds me of posh gay guys with a lisp that wear purple fedoras and cherry red zoot suits.
Polka dots remind me of the life cycle of a girl. When you have multicolored ones, you're a toddler. When you have immense ones (lol boob reference), you're in kindergarten! When you have black polka dots against a salmon color, you're a teenager! When you have black and white ones you're either a classy adult or a grandma. And so on.
Paisley reminds me of girls who dress like the girls from "Little House On the Prairie."
Tartan aka plaid reminds me of Christmas, stereotypical schoolgirls, and Scottish terriers.
Argyle reminds me of yuppies, nerds, and Ezra Koenig.
Stripes remind me of barbershop quartets.
Leopard print reminds me of your average MILF.
Zebra print reminds me of sluts. No offense to you conservative girls who like zebra print, it's just that they remind me of ickle tartlets. I remember when I kind of liked zebra print...
Checkers remind me of Buddy Holly and cheesy people that I'd get along with, and so on.

So here's the boring part of our arousing discussion. Isn't it kind of strange where you could just point to one person and just label their style with one word?..or maybe 2 or 3.. When I think of Sierra, I think of the average teenage girl. Cough, that may be helped with the Justin Bieber shirt. When I think of Abby, I think of the other portion of teenage girls. Maddi reminds me of the typical girl from California (though she lived part of her life in Oregon...;P). Lizzi dresses like an 80's hunk slash Saved By the Bell woman. But not all the time. Which is like me. I guess you can't really define me, and I like that. Who knows when I'm going to wear kilts and crocs. Who knows if I'm going to come to school in a sweater vest and pleather trousers? NO ONE. I remember I wore a dress in 8th grade once and people were like GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! Not in exclamation, but actually at my...never mind.MARRY ME KELLY KAPOWSKI.

Something random that I'd like to mention is probably what the majority of what y'all are thinking about. Creamed corn? No. BOOBS. I recently watched the Jennamarbles post on how to make your boobs bigger. Wearing 2 bras DO help. It's weird. Not that do want my boobs bigger because apparently the reason why I'm almost always hunched over is that I slightly try to hide them. My doctor said that. He's a guy. Now I'm scared. Or maybe their weight is pulling my body down. Never mind. However, putting bronzing powder on them doesn't work. It looks like you have a dirty bosom, and what if you get boob sweat and it runs all over the place? If you have very tight cleavage, I'm pretty sure it gets pretty damp between those sweater puppies cause of all of the friction. So I guess what I'm TRYING to say is....flaunt those boobs. Wait, no. We don't want a world of sluts here. If you have small boobs and want big boobs (not sure why you would) wear 2 bras. Jennamarbles knows best, cause she's the stripper with a master's degree.If all fails, you always have the F-cup cookie. <3

Reviewing the Beyonce CD!

The lovely Lizzi gave me the album "4", the newest album from Beyonce. For the longest time I didn't really respect her but after I heard one song from the album I have full fledged respect for her. I used to be more of an Alicia Keys woman...man.....thing. Anyways, here's some commentary on each and every song. Except the remixes.
1+1-This song is ok....to me it's kind of whiny and sex desperate. Ahee.
I Care-I thoroughly enjoyed this. It was so feisty and Black woman infused.
I Miss You-Hmm, I don't think I've really listened to to this one that much because I a) have no general ideas about this song OR b) it's a forgettable song. I don't really know.
Best Thing I Never Had-Story of my life. Actually, story of me and Shahil.
Rather Die Young-I used to not really like it but it really grew on me. Partially because it was all soulful but had that 90's RB feel sort of.
Start Over-The beat in the beginning automatically made me like the song. It's really simple but I just liked it. A lot.
Love On Top-Pretty much the first song Lizzi showed me that gave Beyonce a chance. This song is amazing......with all those key changes that get irritating because she makes me feel like a tone deaf walrus. Which I am.
Countdown-It sounds like she's saying "me and my BOOB BOOB BOOB BOOB" or boof. Or poof. and it is quite TITillating. See what I did-Never mind.
End Of Time-This was a a good song too! Though I wonder if she was thinking about Jay-z while writing all of these songs. I know she probably didn't (and she probably had other people write them for her) but haha every time I think about Jay-z for these songs I feel like Beyonce is super bi-polar >.<
I Was Here-One of the more "depressing" songs on the album. I liked this one too. GOTTA HAVE SOME VARIETY. I feel like this song would play in a K drama. Or if America had soap operas modeled after K dramas, this would totally be in it when the main character tries to DIE. Nah, the main character never dies, it's usually the elderly dad or grandpa.
Run the World-Okay, I don't understand how this one is the most popular. It sucks the biggest, juiciest donkey balls ever. Well it's not that bad but no matter how hard I try to listen to it, it still never grows on me. This shows how bad the music taste of generic Americans are.
Party ft. Andre 3000-At first the rap was kind of "wut?". "Gurrrrl ahhll make milk drip down yo' knees"...BUT this grew on me super quickly. And I love it so much. This one has the most prominent 90's RB feel to it PLUS it kind of reminds me of a female underage version of Let's Get It On by the sultry Marvin Gaye. Marvin Gaye's dad killed Marvin. Slut. Andre 3000 was in Outkast. Which means he sang the 'hey ya' song. Now how 'bout that trivia!
And there's the bonus tracks:
Lay Up Under Me: The song was alright, but I LOVED the title. I was like "oh snap gurl. Beyonce dominates......IN BED." It reminded me of Robin Scherbatsky.
Schoolin' Life: This song had an 80's anthem feel to it, and I loved it a lot. I actually haven't been listening to it recently, which is weird, but I'll get to it soon. I'm getting distracted by Kpop. Which is Kenyan pop.
Dance For You-Meh. Definitely about lap dancing. And the lyrics sort of creep me out, mainly cause I lay awake in bed listening to this album at night.

So the end!
My top five of this album would definitely be
Love On Top, Schoolin' Life, Party, I Care, and Rather Die Young.

Here's the rather sekahsee cover of the album.


Okay, for the longest time I didn't know it was called "4".
.__.

Acronyms. And a List of People I'd....Do.

So, acronyms...they get ridiculous.....sort of. Like me and Sierra's Bff equivalent, BFFFFFFFFFFFLTPCI. Y'all probably know what it means. If you don't, I doubt you'd want to ask me because that'd waste about 10 seconds of your life. I used to hate using the most overused acronym "lol".....but unfortunately at the time, I kind of sort of have to use it. It's also not as annoying sounding as it used to be. It's unsettling, but I have to do it. I'm also using it honestly 'cause maybe I DO fucking laugh when I say it. Mmmmhmm. It also reminds me of memes. AND THE LOLWUT PEAR. I LOVE THAT THING. Speaking of memes, I told my mom a poop joke and the story about the swami on Youtube teaching poop getting-out-of-your ass exercises and she told me I'd be forever alone. I.......think she's true. I told her this joke....Did you hear that diarrhea is hereditary? Yeah! IT RUNS IN THE JEANS. I know. What a flabby thigh slapper. So yesterday, I went to a walk in appointment with my dentist because I was having this weird gum-ache. And.........you'll never know. Wisdom teeth are already in. Dayum, they're supposed to start when you're about.....18-19 or even into your 20's and 30's! So far I think 3 of them grew in. The reason why my gums hurt like hell was because the root of the tooth was like half a centimeter away from a nerve in my mouth. We're looking into getting them removed. If my dentist can't do it, I'm going to get them surgically removed. Please knock me unconscious and then pull them out. What also sucks is that I'm getting them all pulled out separately. It's good that it won't affect band but 3 times to not look forward to. Anyways, I've been watching a good amount of JennaMarbles lately. Her humor isn't as amazing as some, but I give her parents props for doing it and making her because she's hot, slutty, and has a master's degree. I have a weird sort of respect for really hot, slutty, smart people. But not Hotforwords, I'm pretty sure she has a dick. No offense or anything....I also find it rather ironic that she's teaching Engleassshh when she's......Russian. Is she Russian? I dunno.....Ukraine? Oh well. So here's a list of people I'd theoretically bang. Repeatedly. Just kidding. And by the way, I probably wouldn't bang these people. (That's a lie...I'd definitely sleep with them.) It would be nice having that kind of a reputation, though I'm probably already labeled sluttymaroo by most Asian parents :P
1. Todd from barelypolitical. Aka Uri Kastrovich. I might throw in Amber Lee Ettinger and Lauren Francesca as well. Mmm barelypolitical.
2. Carrot top. You can see why.
3. Nicki Minaj in all outfits and hairstyles.
4. Muuuung Daaaaaaaal.
5. I'd probably bang a tiger to make a yellow tiger baby.
6. Larry King.
7. Lizzi Trumbore.
8. Choirboys. Any size, shape, ethnicity. And they must be pre pubescent.
9. Luna from f(x).....when she's blonde. While wearing fishnets and hitting high notes. Hot. I guess she could look like this as well.
10. Park Bom. She has to sing too.
11. And maybe (note the maybe) Nic while wearing something really slutty. ;P Like this.I'd ravish you in those nipple high trousers.
12. Last but ohoho, definitely not least, Lady Gaga during the time when people said she had a dick. I love controversies that deal with having dicks! If I ever become famous I hope people start those rumors. Not that I'm going to become famous.
Well, I'm done!
So my dad's back from Chiners. Yay.
Also, burritos and frozen yogurt don't mix.
That burrito was fucking delicious, by the way. I wish I could just regurgitate it whole and eat it again......
Is that weird?
Never mind.
Also.....the LLAMA ALPHABET! Aren't you surprised there isn't a My Little Llama Franchise?
Lastly, happy August! :D