Milky Moobies.

When I hear the word: sexcrazedoldcreepymofos, I automatically think of.....Ni-just kidding. I think of the BEACH BOYS. Sure, they may be legend...ary in the world of rock and roll but are you kidding me! They were overgrown Justin Biebery middle aged men that sang about cars, women, the beach, and women. Sure, I do have a wave of nostalgia flood over me as I listen to their Endless Summer CD but WHEN DO I DO THAT?! NEVERRR! You see, the Beatles sang about the same things....pretty much.....like women and drivin' cars and all that jazz, but they got more creative and sang about LSD infused walruses, digging ponies, and strawberry fields...forever. Also, no one knows the names of the members! John, Paul, George, and Ringo can distinctly stick out in a person's mind. Here's a little song I wrote that is in the essence of a beach boys songLook at those Hawaiian shirt donning hunks! Ahhh yeah.

*cough* AND IT BEGINS!
"Today I saw a sultry girl!
Her hair was in....curls?
I saw her at the beach in a bikini
I'm pretty sure she had a wieeeenie
WAAOOOOooooh WA WA OOOO
Trannies at the beach in the sand
Oh whoa when I see them THERE GOES MY SWEAT GUH-LAAAND!
Waa oooohhhh wa wa Oooooh "
I could go on. But I won't.
That's my rant on the Beachie Beach Boys.
Now I must change topics to Adele. This woman is totally rad. She has ginger biscuit hair and her CD is perfect for all women that have gone through a bad breakup. I wish she could stand at the foot of my bed and sing me to sleep. She has more class than Amy Winehouse. Since we're talking about singing, I shall discuss my chops. I am not a very skilled singer. I can sing......boy choir repetoire and I can sound decent if I sing a little below a whisper. If I sing above that, I sound positively terrible. I'm on key....but I suck. The only talent I really have that involves vocals is that I'm pretty good at singing foreign ranguage songs. I can master pronunciations for my K pop songs. Oohhhhhhh yeah.This was me in sixth grade.

Now I'm going to switch gears to Christopher Walken and William Shatner. These two men need a duet together. I saw this video of Christopher Walken and he was reading Poker Face.....I loved his interpretation of her Ohhh Wuh Ohh oh oh part. It sounded like a bored orgasm. And William Shatner....what a hunk!!!!!! WHO WOULDN'T WANT A DUET WITH THIS CANADIAN HUNK! Oh god and what if George Takei joined in for a trio......not for sex, fucking sicko.
Well, that was short. Since I'm running low on ideas...I'm going to talk about my elementary school teachers and I will give them accurate descriptions and I will try to guess about their personal lives.
Kindergarten: Shawni Henderson. She was pretty nice and inneresting. I think that she could be on Real Housewives of.....you pick. She seemed very mommyish and botoxy.
First Grade: Holmberg......FLARHGHHH what a megabitch. I'm pretty sure she was a stripper in her previous years of life. I think she possibly had a relationship with a Hugh Hefner imposter and then she found out he was a fake so she decided to impose her communistic ideas on innocent little first graders. Yup.
2nd grade: Ray O'Malley: An awesome partially bald middle aged man who could probably be an actor. I'm pretty sure he could've been in Dr. Who. He enjoyed writing science songs related to Simon and Garfunkel songs and every week he would come in dressed as a distant cousin of his...Mr O'my. Or O'MAI! or....I don't know.
3rd grade: Dave Parker. THE BEST FUCKING TEACHER THAT EVER LIVED. He constantly let us throw softballs at the speakers, let us watch game shows, and made up awesome raps about multiplication. He made multiplication seem badass and that has been my favorite math related thing ever. He also puts on great plays about dental health and is great at casting.....oh Lucas as a bailiff. Or whatever. We also pranked other classrooms and piled their chairs in front of the doors. What a megapimp with his khaki shorts, running shoes, fancy ties, and curly mullet. I'm pretty sure Mr. Parker was Jesus. Yup.
4th Grade: Dennis Servetter. He was a strict yet badass Jew with an earring and paragliding skills. I didn't exactly enjoy him but I did enjoy his knowledge on making them tater latkes. I'm guessing that in the old country, he was aquaintances with Adam Sandler and they went to the local synagogue together and had a conjoined barmitzvah.
5th grade: Last but HOHOHO definitely not least is the marvelous John Goodwin. He was a nice ol' white man with a tiny wrist and ankle and did a bunch of limping. He gave us an emotional talk about his disease. We all cried like babies. He also traveled in safaris and he looked like a raunchy young man from Toto. He was a great drawer of conquistadors and cityscapes. He also enjoyed making us recite poems. He is probably the most cultured man I have ever met. I'm pretty sure that he has traveled the world like Phileas Fogg and fought native american warriors with his bare hands. I'm also pretty sure he has had an assortment/army of wives, since he had a long flowing beard and wheaty hair.I think he was a bit more attractive then all of them. Oh well.

IT'S OVER!

RAAAAAAGH

Easter..a day where white people decorate eggs, go to church, explode peeps and stuff. Unfortunately, growing up in an atheist-ish Chinese family, I only got to sort of experience it until I was about 8. I remember when I lived near Adobe Bluffs my neighbor was this SAINTLY white lady and she used to shower me with gifts...that was when I experienced my first easter!! I just remember I had a sugar rush. Now I do nothing really. Well this was really pointless. Ummm......what else should I talk about.Ahee..touchin the ickle lad with his "carrot"

Oh yes! Toilet stories. I would like to say that.....
1) Whenever I take a dump or pee, I have to recite the ABC's. Sometimes in my head. Sometimes out loud. Most likely when I'm constipated. I hope that doesn't creep the crap out of y'all......Haha, crap creeping out of your butt. Haha. Hehe. Hoho.
2) Who hasn't stuck their hand into the toilet?! Don't lie. I mean, not when there's lumps of shit floating around but who didn't play with toilet water when they were 1-5......sort of sad...but true.
3) I HAVE fallen into the toilet. I sort of looked like this kid. I can't now, because my butt is too big.
4) Have you ever opened the top part of the toilet and played with that floaty/douche/black whatever floaty ball? That was redundant, and I'm pretty sure I just made it sound like some sort of sex toy. It's not. I hope.
5) I have flushed many things down the toilet.....beef stew, a smiley face keychain....you name it. Except my pet fish and such......they needed a proper burial.

The only problem I have with a toilet is that ever since I got my sex change, I'm really used to sitting down.....and as a brawny male, I find it hard to go peepee sitting down, my penis gets super squished. I haven't really developed my aiming skills, so errytime I go I miss and have to clean the floor OR I end up peeing on the ceiling. See, it's better sitting down and taking the risk of getting a spontaneous boner and getting squished nuts instead of cleaning my own urine! Buggady buggady buggady!


Whelp, I'm gonna go to an Asian easter uh......brunch. We're prolly going to eat dumplings and all that jazz. Time to put on some pants over my polka dot boy shorts (preferably my weekend mom jean/trousers) put on the hobo jacket I used to wear in middle school, and get cracking. Well that sounded oddly sexual.

The Opera.

OH YEAH. Greer Grimsley has the best evil laugh ever.
Ailyn Perez and Stephen Costello....as Romeo and Juliet. What a steamy young couple.


I may have informed you all that I attended the Opera about....2 weeks ago and tonight. I thought it would kind of suck.......the hall smelling of old ladies and faux fur, butt aches, and boring actors and such.. That facade was not true. The worst thing really was all the annoying coughing and hacking going on. I wanted to ask the elderly gentleman next to me "Are you laying eggs, sir?", but that would not have been the inapropropropropro. Today I watched the opera Faust. Since I REALLY don't want to give a longass synopsis, I shall tell a modern version of it!!
Old ugly smart guy wants to get laid. But he can't get laid. He's old. And ugly. He makes a pact with the devil (GASP) and sells his soul to him to get one wish. He wishes to be hot and young and Brad Pitt-esque. A few days later in the........epicenter of the....uh..city? There is a beerfest of drunken soldiers going to war. Iraq, that is. Just kidding. It didn't take place in Iraq. But I'M MAKING IT MODERN. One of the soldiers has this long spiel about protecting his little sister and it gave me the thought that he wanted to sleep with her and was super territorial. But.....he wasn't. Well, for now. He makes this pre pubescent Justin Biebery youth protect her and he is smitten with her sekahseeness. And I can see why....boobies, of course! Then the dude and devil walk in and the guy is like "Heyyyyyy there tuts! Would you like to 'take my arm?'' He is....rejected. Then there was the intermission! My butt was perfectly fine! I did not get up.
The intermission is done. Yay! Scene 2: There's a garden and the sexy lady's front porch. The JBiebery youth prances around and picks a nubby bouquet of flowers from her OWN damn garden to give to her. Wow. Then he squeals with delight and runs off into the horizon and is like " I MUST PROCLAIM ME LOVE TO HERRR!" then Faust.....we'll call him Fabio.....to make him seem more hunky and "modern" comes in with the devil and sings for 20 minutes about her sexiness. He, being a love-starved sexless greenhorn picks flowers from her OWN garden as well. What the hayull. Then shazaaam! The devil pops out of the well and gives Fabio a box of jewels to leave at her doorstep. She finds them the next day and dies of happiness because well, duh! All girls like shiny things! Fabio seduces her some more. The Devil, in his charming Antonio Banderas form has sex in a bush with some husbandless MILF that is the girl's neighbor. Fabio and his lady lover duet and make out multiple times. Hoho. Then they finally stop sucking face, and Fabio lets his lady lover go to sleep. Then, she sings some more on her balcony and how her vagina is tingling with delight. Just kidding! Then she goes outside in a sheer nightgown (oh bababababy) and Fabio is STILL there, being a lurker. Fabio runs into her house and they probably had wild sex, though they cut it out. But we can most definitely assume that, hohohohoho.
Second intermission! We move down from the awesome balcony to the first floor. Worst idea ever, Dad.
A year later after raucous love making and tired private parts, Fabio suddenly disappears and leaves his lady love, Marguerite. Why? The devil likes to mess around with people and make them seem like niggabitch playboys. Oh, and I will call her Marge. Why? I don't know. She is PREGGO! This is like Juno, sort of, but with more wraths and whatnot. She is weaving at a loom and people snicker at her preggoness. She sig and pines for Fabio, but honey, he ain't coming back. Until laaaater. JBiebs makes another appearance to seduce Marge but she rejects him some more. After that, the soldiers come home! Marge's brother is like "WHAT THE HAYULLL GIRL WHY YOU PREGGERS?" and reveals her stomach to the world. Then Fabio comes along with the devil and Fabio and her brother sword fight. Marge's brother loses. Who knew a dying man could sing so amazingly. He tells Marge basically that..she sucks, is a ho, it's her fault for his death, and that she's soooo damned. Like, totally. Then they change scenes to a church. Marge prays for Fabio and her baby but then the red backlight goes on and Antonio Banderas....I mean, the devil says that she's damned, blah blah blah. He appears in random places and tells her that multiple times. She wails/orgasms.
LAST SCENE: Marge is in jail. Why? She killed her baby. I'm not surprised. The devil, attempting to be nice ish tries to get Fabio to sneak her out. She orgasms at his face and they make out multiple times. Then, Fabio and Marge get into a disagreement. Fabio wants to leave. Marge wants to "stay awhile"......probably to have noisy sex. Then, Fabio's hand spontaneously starts bleeding and Marge is like "EWWWWWWWWW". Then, Anto-I mean the Devil spits fire and drags Fabio to hell. He tries to fight back, but hey, when you've sold your soul to the devil.....you've sold it, biatch! Heavenly light shines on these huge stairs in front of Marge and voices going REBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRTHHHHHHHHH sing and she walks slowly onto the stairs into this vortex of light.
THE END.
I guess that really wasn't that short......but wasn't that riveting?
I made it sound really stupid.....but it was pretty awesome.
I'm sorry for butchering your Opera, San Diego.

PS: I figured out Faust and Marguerite were actually MARRIED in real life. I swear, all of the plays that feature one of them, the other has to be the love interest in the play. Actually, that's kind of cute. I think all that making out in the opera is going to lead to many, many babies due to sex in the bathroom at the after show reception. Well, many, many babies with great singing chops.

I'm going to bed.

101 Super Uses For Tampon Applicators!

Something that is old has been racking my brain. That, my friends is the ignorant blonde mademoiselle from UCLA. Honestly, what I think part of what she is saying kind of makes a point. Unfortunately, I find Asian people jabbering in the library pretty damn annoying. The thing is....she's being ignorant, e.g "TING TONG LING LONG CHING CHONG" and keeps on going "You're in AH-MUHR-ICA! herpderp!" "I'm an Ahmurrkin princesserz!" The other thing is......why must you spew out this video when you're in UCLA?! Really now. I'm not entirely sure how she got admitted but I'll guess she a) seduced whoever runs it or a) seduced whoever who is in charge of grades to giver her a 4.4444444444445 GPA. Though I agree that Asians yakking in the library is irritable, I'm glad UCLA kicked this ho out. At least her and her tits will have new beginnings in the porn industry! Ho hum!

Second of all, I would like to state the magnificentness of the Nyan cat and the Korean Rickroll.
The Nyan cat is unlike no other. It is a small, pixelated gray kitty cat with a pop tart body that is shitting out a rainbow as it soars across a galaxy to catchy music. That's all. And that's the beauty of it. Thank you, Nic. Second is "Itaewon Freedom" aka the Korean Rickroll. This exciting MV includes: poofy 80's haired Korean men prancing around Seoul/Itaewon, hitting on one foxy lady, and pelvic thrusting like no tomorrow. This video was introduced to me by the lovely Simon and Martina, two sekasee hipster Wasians who vlog about Kpop, food, officetels, and their fohawked green doggie.

I also want to rant about shifty Chinese food from shifty Chinese places. Though the food may look a brilliant crimson red color and is served with a bunch of sliced up onions, it very well MAY give you very explosive diarrhea. I swear I almost made a poopty pootaaay during the musical yesterday and smelled like a shitbarn. That didn't make sense, but it did in my brain. All I really have to say is......shifty Chinese food from shifty Chinese places = or maybe even > to shifty Mexican food from shifty Mexican places. And Japanese and Korean food? Nah. Those places are waaaay too sanitary to spill your guts out. Remember kids........if you get served food that resembles a mouse vagina......do- I mean..DON'T eat it. No matter how tempted you are. I've always wanted to know what a mouse vagina tasted like. Just kidding.Awwwww yeeee. Chicken head. Hen head.

Last and.....sort of the least is the marvelous Coachella music festival! A music festival in the boring general location of the boring Palm Springs...wear celebrities and common, unwashed folk breathe the same air, try to look "hipster", and listen and pretend to admire oddball fronted visual-kei bands. I sort of kid the third statement. More like oddball fronted a) adult-alternative b) art-punk c) really bad new wave d) Indie rock e) reggae grunge. I don't know about e, though I find that quite possible. Two things that generally irritate me about Coachella are: 1) The HUGE amount of people trying to dress as cracked out hipsters. They don't wear pants..aka the stds have eaten up their pants and are working on their shirts...ripped up potato sacks, hairbands that poof your hair, ankle converses, ugly rompers, chunky glasses, wilted daisies, tight pants, no pants, don't bathe for days, fedoras, bohemian skirts, nipple high trousers, tube socks, short shorts, fringed leather jackets, anything American Apparel or Urban Outfitters, ugly cardigans, crinkly rompers, salvation army stuff, vintage hearing aids, old marching band uniforms, fanny packs, plaid scarves, etc. Though I like many of these clothing choices and accessories, mostly fanny packs and nipple high trousers (oh bababy), I find it gross how people overdo it on this day. Please, inform me on more hipster clothing trends that I have missed. And as far as accessories go, you could be toting clunky headphones, huge lomography cameras (swoon I actually really love them).....or a really hot Asian or some other ethnic girlfriend who is a graphic designer and rocks out on upright bass. Or a matching drugged out hipster lady. I find it sort of sad that the definition of "hipster" is someone who finds nonconformity cool...and then here we have a ton of people conforming to look like them..so technically....the term "hipster" doesn't really make sense. Nonconformity is totally fine. I think it shouldn't be labeled, because really, everyone sort of has that element in them.......unless you're a bimbo, cheerleader, druggie. I understand. What weird is that I feel that I'm being sort of contradicting....Some of these clothing things are cool. And hipster......I think that word should be banned. The term is so pliable you could really give it 8234923757 definitions. Well this was really pointless. But I hope you sort of understand my point o' view.
And ohmyjizz. A CRAIGSLIST ASIAN GIRLFRIEND HIPSTER HOOKER. I just died. http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/38889776.html

I'm done! I just ate some kind of Asian calzone and I'm gonna poop.

Why Do You Honk At Me?

A few clippings I found from Riot Grrl fanzines that made me laugh. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh.This is something I go by every day. This quote is self explanatory. The resilience of my legs makes it hard to keep my creamy thighs closed. It's a shame. I'm quite sure that my cooter has grown wings and I can magically fly everywhere. Oh, the magnificence of female evolution.....to the next step.
Here's a translation for all you blind people out there. Is it because you think it's flattering, or because you think I'm beautiful and sexy? Because if it is, I just wanted to tell you that I'm aware of the fact that I'm amazing and beautiful, and just so you know, I didn't try to look good for you, because I think you're stupid, and the last thing I want is business and beergut men reassuring me of something I already know and next time you see an amazing woman walking down the street, think about how you would feel if every time you left your home you felt like you had to hide anything attractive about yourself so that you wouldn't be harrassed and laughed at, and you were anyway. Thank you, Every Girl
All I can say is: 1) I'm not sexy enough....or hookery enough to be honked at. Then again, that defeats the purpose of me being section jailbait. hoho. This does not relate to me. I guess it's time to run out into the streets over yonder wearing a tube top with breast ventilation. Just kidding. That would feel reall weird.Ha! And who said women belonged in the kitchen? Please marry me, Alice Duer Miller. I'll make out with your corpse if I have to. Except not really. Oh gosh, having my own magazine would be great. There would be a scandalous picture section, recipe section, etc. Crafternoon sounds fun, except when there are riot girls, it'll probably end up with....popsicle sticks and yarn being shoved down each other's......shirts. HA! AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING ELSE! And the cupcakes would probably be made out of dead boy babies, kahlua, and pepto bismol pink sprinkles.
To me, this is what a Riot Grrl's average weekend is:
1. Put on ripped fishnets, wear a bikini on your underdeveloped breasts, and write SLUT or WHORE or FLOOZY on your tummy with lipstick and wear lesbo cargo pants and pour grease in your hair.
2. Go to a gay bar and ingest lots of fruity cocktails and line dance with the slutty male cage dancers
3. Record really bad music with a children's karoke set
4. Run into the streets and whip off your clothes, exposing your braided armpit hair
5. Start getting freaky with your gurl friends.

THE END.

Adopt a Nat!

Name: Nataree
Species: Human...they think
Birthdate: 9/22/96
Gender: M & F
Health conditions: slight herpes
Likes: Squeegees, Japanese mayonnaise, Bob Ross, glossy abdominals, and Sweden
Dislikes: spray cheese, cotton balls, Geri Halliwell, plastic bowls with weasels on them, etc.

SOMEONE PLEASE ADOPT ME. I'm living in a puppy mill. I'm going to be tossed into the meat grinder soon and then I'm going to be shipped off to the tuna factory!! The people who work there and fuckin' shifty....after putting on the "dolphin free" seal, they started putting in puppy meat. I'd prefer being adopted by some nice white people.

Every year, thousands of dog..things like Nataree are abused. Help them now by making a phone call.. * cues sad music* IN THE ARMMMMMMMMMMS OFFFFFFF AN ANGEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I don't know the rest of the words so I'll just halt...here.

Seriously. I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. My Asian parents are going to cause me to jump out of the window someday. Then after I jump, it'll hurt. And I don't want that to happen....I still have three years at home.
What KIND of a parent regards homework as having fun and relaxing? And after I'm done cough "relaxing" I have to dig some fucking trench outside. Damn.
SOMEONE ADOPT ME NOW!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease. I won't even charge anything. Just come to my house, shove me into a burlap sack, and I will gladly be part of your family, though you probably wouldn't want slight herpes. But it's just slight! I promise you!
*sticks out bottom lip*.

A List Of My Lesbian Crushes. Right Here. Right Now.

This is a time where I release all my pent up desires to make steamy sex with all of these women. Just kidding. But I find these women intriguing and hot so I'm going to talk about their sultriness. I strongly apologize to Nic that I fantasize about these women. Just kidding. I actually don't. I guess I cough "apologize" for being a lesbo. Mmm. Thighs. Monica Lewinsky. I'd hit that.
1. RIZEE TRUMBORIO! I think this fascinating, charming, raunchy young creature is a national sex symbol. Nay, she is a WORLDWIDE sex symbol. From Mongolia to the Sandwich Islands, the name Lizbeth TROMBONE is all it takes to make men, women, and animals cream their panties. In the animals' cases, they HAVE no panties. Whatever. I also am not sure if I have a picture of her so I'll find a very similar picture.
2. Olivia Hussey. STOP SNICKERING AT HER LAST NAME! SHE IS SOME HOT SHIZ. She is old and crusty but still unbelievable sexy right now. She was Juliet in the old version of the Romeo and Juliet movie where she had boob spilling epic moments. I found her quite appealing. But sadly, I found Romeo's white buttcheeks much more hilarious and appealing. That scene was great, he was like "YEEYUH YOU NIGGABITCH CAPULETS! IMMA BANGING YOUR 15 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND I'M PROBABLY 19 OR SO! YEAH!!! Bang, bang bangity bang bang bang! BANG! BANGGGGGGG!" *bares buttcheeks on the balcony*
3. Meg White. I don't know why I have a girl crush on her. She's pasty and white and kind of reminds me of a gothic pornstar. She's also not the best drummer ever. I think she's very cute and such, and Jack White shouldn't have divorced her. THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER! And Jack White had ginger fetishes. Jack is such a manho, though I appreciate him a lot.
4. I have a girl crush on 2 K pop women. One has pink hair and has rumored to be a tranny (Jia)....but isn't......OKAY, THERE WAS WEIRD LIGHTING ON HER SPANDEX PANTS JEEEEEZ. And is a raunchy Chinese girl. The other is an ABK.....american born korean that has sultry muscular legs and I nice butt. (Min) They're both in the same K pop band, Miss A. And A probably stands for Asian. So original.
5. Last but not least I have a femaleish crush on Shirley Manson. I don't know why. But I just do. She was the lead singer of Garbage. They weren't very good. Why am I talking like this. I guess everyone sort of has a tiny soft spot for them gingers. And Shirley Manson was a pretty sultry ginger. Yum. Though her face sort of looked weird at times and she still kind of looks like a rabbit, I admire her and want to touch her.
6. YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS ACTUALLY THE LAST ONE?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Nope. LAST but definitely not the least would be Esperanza Spalding. For reasons completely explained as you watch her plunk that bass. Yum.

I'm done...I hope.
Actually, I'm not.
Then there's Jackie Fox, the bass player for the Runaways. She apparently sucked, but she was cute. And awesome. And WENT TO HARVARD.

Happy Trees!

Today during the day of silence, Nic and I witnessed possibly the BEST THING that could happen to us......BOB ROSS. The god and holy spirit of painting. The man who can mix around paint crappily on his canvas and BAM! A perfect evergreen tree. Nay, not just a tree. A HAPPY TREE. Bob Ross also slaps his brush onto his easel and it makes a pleasant "fapping " noise. His serene tone of voice, creamy, microphone eque afro and sunburn kissed skin made me moan with pleasure....on the inside. 1) I didn't want to offend Nic and 2) Duh.....day of silence. Bob Ross has intrigued me so much that I read his wikipedia. The sad thing is that I was planning on being his third wife. Unfortunately, Bob Ross PASSED AWAY IN MOTHER FUCKING 1995! HE WAS SO YOUNG! HE WAS 52!! I could've married him in 10 years and he'd ONLY BE 62! Sigh. Oh Bob. I can't believe he could paint a masterpiece in about 20-30 minutes. He was the David Hasselhoff of art. Before I had heard of the legendary Bob Ross, but he was only a myth to me. I saw a picture of him with glossy pectorals that an avid AP studio art student, nay, a scholar painted. As soon as I saw his face today.....I knew.......that he was the one. Then I went home and found out that he was dead. And he used to be in the air force. He used to be a mean man. But then he became old and soft, just the way I like them. And I'm talking about buttcheeks.
Well, since he's dead I guess I can't do much. I guess I'll just have to go to his home state of Flo-ree-dah and dig him up and make duh love to his hidden dragon!!
Oh Bob. You get me.