Aqueous Martinis and Other Things That Have To Do With H20

While there's like 2 more weeks of summer, I have only just begun to do things summery, such as swimming. Thankfully I don't have to do swim team, and I have some rather scary and heartwarming and disturbing stories from the time I was at Miramar and Mt. Carmel. I didn't really have any strange stories from Mt. Carmel, only that Adam Siegel is a terrible swimmer and Nathan Siegel is a lot worse. My 6th grade body rocked them till Canada Day. I remember Austin/Anand Marshall was on my swim team at Miramar College and he always hung out with this small wannabe scene girl who wore waterproof eyeliner. They got married with plastic rings and Lyu Pentov's little brother was their child. Then he talked about tanning his thighs for speedo season and that made me change my mind that he was becoming straight again. I also remember at a swim meet I bonked my ear on the wall doing backstroke but I got 2nd anyways. OH YEAH. I also remember having major crotch cramps (cameltoe causing swimsuit) and back tans and goggle tans. My hair also hurt because of the swim cap. Those sucked. My swimsuit looked like this and the tan lines were not pretty. I remember when I took my ID card picture in sixth grade, I had a raccoonish goggle tan and really bleachy brown hair. So why did I quit swim team? One day this chick grabbed my ankle because she wanted to pass me so she ended up like choking me. Then I went completely apeshit and forced my mom to let me quit. Now I swim solo and work out my Chun Li thighs. Of course I would get good at the strokes that people don't really care about, e.g backstroke and breaststroke. Of course I'd get good at breaststroke. Schwingggg. Did you know that doing the dolphin kick for butterfly is pretty much humping the water? I didn't notice that until a year ago.
Out of all of the pools I've swam in, Miramar College is the best, even though they may have bitchy life guards. Who cares if the kid runs on deck? When they fall and break a limb, they'll know right from wrong. Just kidding. Safety first. Use protection. The Miramar/Ned Baumer pool also has a wide assortment of sultry old men in speedos. I also saw a lady with a huge butt and cottage cheesy thighs. It was weird cause her face looked normal but then BAM.
Mt. Carmel has a nice pool too but I DON'T SEE THEM HAVING A BIG YELLOW SLIDE LIKE MIRAMAR COLLEGE'S. When I saw the "big yellow slide", I thought of a euphemism for my penis. LOL.
Westview has a good pool even though it's always kind of cold and every time I swim in it now I think of the fish being thrown in it on the second to last day of school. When I swam in it on Friday it smelled like seafood
which made me shudder.
Lastly there's the good ole YMCA. They suck. And that's it. Diarrhea splotches at the bottom of the pool and crusty band aids.
Is it embarrassing that I wanted to be a merman? Not mermaid, MERMAN. I somehow felt like mermen were 2384923 times hotter than mermaids with their creamy pectorali and ovalesque neepoes. Don't forget the Fabio hair. Question of the day....do mermaids have vaginas? That is up to you all to find out.
When I swim in a pool I think about how kids pee in it and wonder what would happen if there was no chlorine in the pool. I'd be swimmin' in urine! And I'd blend in, but that's besides the point.
I'm sort of done talking about pools since they're slightly boring. So here's the poop joke(s) of the day!
Turtle Poop: The kind of poop that pops out a little and goes back in a few times before it finally comes out.
Here's a fart joke. Hoho. Beefy fart: Sounds loud, and will smell a bit like the rotting offspring of a BSE infected cow and a dog turd.
So there ya have it!

The Fashion Edition aka I Love a Man In Uniform ( Or TURTLENECK.)

Thanks, Justin. Paving the way for men to wear turtlenecks.

I like men in turtlenecks. Is that wrong? I hope not. If I saw Alf or Brandon in a turtleneck I'd probably laugh and throw up. I guess all kinds of turtlenecks are preferable, but I think beige soft ones are insanely orgasmic. Seeing a guy in a turtleneck makes my panties drop to the floor in an instant. To me, turtlenecks just scream "I'm a masculine hunk who's not afraid to show off me prominent nipples, gorgeous personality, dangerous curves, AND my knowledge of quality fabric!" Basically if you want me to get you pregnant, wear a beige/cream cashmere turtleneck and play dubstep. I don't exactly like dubstep, but it reminds me of robot intercourse and really REALLY makes me want to hump everything in my sight. I swear, my crotch starts tingling and it is my instinct to knock someone down to the floor and yell "YOU LIKE THAT, BITTTTCHHHHHHH?!!!!" while they beg with mercy as I tie them up and take out the handcu-Wait what? Back to the turtleneck story. *wipes off crusted drool at corner of mouth* As well as turtlenecks, I enjoy a man who wears flannel, long johns, vegan footwear, and wife beaters. You could say that this man is a representation of me when I fly through the dubstep humpty dumpty phrase, and you could say that I would let this man fondle my body. Just because he's wearing a wife beater.
Meeeee-yow. I also like sweater vests with argyle patterns and ANYTHING pleather on a man. Pleater is patent leather. Which technically is fake and slutty leather. That technically means that I love a man who looks nice in hooker heels. Luckily, that's true!This isn't pleather, but I'd tap anything in these heels. I'd probably throw in a few 100's in the heels.
I also like a man in uniform, so you can probably assume that I want to rape everyone during marching season, which I do. If an array of people wear these sultry clothing articles to school one day, I'll presume it is my birthday and be surprised that people actually REMEMBERED and I'll get the biggest girl boner ever. Damn. I'd drop to the floor.
Does anyone else look at patterns and think about what kind of people they represent? I think I'm the only one who does that, but then again I'm a special case. To me, houndstooth reminds me of posh gay guys with a lisp that wear purple fedoras and cherry red zoot suits.
Polka dots remind me of the life cycle of a girl. When you have multicolored ones, you're a toddler. When you have immense ones (lol boob reference), you're in kindergarten! When you have black polka dots against a salmon color, you're a teenager! When you have black and white ones you're either a classy adult or a grandma. And so on.
Paisley reminds me of girls who dress like the girls from "Little House On the Prairie."
Tartan aka plaid reminds me of Christmas, stereotypical schoolgirls, and Scottish terriers.
Argyle reminds me of yuppies, nerds, and Ezra Koenig.
Stripes remind me of barbershop quartets.
Leopard print reminds me of your average MILF.
Zebra print reminds me of sluts. No offense to you conservative girls who like zebra print, it's just that they remind me of ickle tartlets. I remember when I kind of liked zebra print...
Checkers remind me of Buddy Holly and cheesy people that I'd get along with, and so on.

So here's the boring part of our arousing discussion. Isn't it kind of strange where you could just point to one person and just label their style with one word?..or maybe 2 or 3.. When I think of Sierra, I think of the average teenage girl. Cough, that may be helped with the Justin Bieber shirt. When I think of Abby, I think of the other portion of teenage girls. Maddi reminds me of the typical girl from California (though she lived part of her life in Oregon...;P). Lizzi dresses like an 80's hunk slash Saved By the Bell woman. But not all the time. Which is like me. I guess you can't really define me, and I like that. Who knows when I'm going to wear kilts and crocs. Who knows if I'm going to come to school in a sweater vest and pleather trousers? NO ONE. I remember I wore a dress in 8th grade once and people were like GREAT BALLS OF FIRE! Not in exclamation, but actually at my...never mind.MARRY ME KELLY KAPOWSKI.

Something random that I'd like to mention is probably what the majority of what y'all are thinking about. Creamed corn? No. BOOBS. I recently watched the Jennamarbles post on how to make your boobs bigger. Wearing 2 bras DO help. It's weird. Not that do want my boobs bigger because apparently the reason why I'm almost always hunched over is that I slightly try to hide them. My doctor said that. He's a guy. Now I'm scared. Or maybe their weight is pulling my body down. Never mind. However, putting bronzing powder on them doesn't work. It looks like you have a dirty bosom, and what if you get boob sweat and it runs all over the place? If you have very tight cleavage, I'm pretty sure it gets pretty damp between those sweater puppies cause of all of the friction. So I guess what I'm TRYING to say is....flaunt those boobs. Wait, no. We don't want a world of sluts here. If you have small boobs and want big boobs (not sure why you would) wear 2 bras. Jennamarbles knows best, cause she's the stripper with a master's degree.If all fails, you always have the F-cup cookie. <3

Reviewing the Beyonce CD!

The lovely Lizzi gave me the album "4", the newest album from Beyonce. For the longest time I didn't really respect her but after I heard one song from the album I have full fledged respect for her. I used to be more of an Alicia Keys woman...man.....thing. Anyways, here's some commentary on each and every song. Except the remixes.
1+1-This song is ok....to me it's kind of whiny and sex desperate. Ahee.
I Care-I thoroughly enjoyed this. It was so feisty and Black woman infused.
I Miss You-Hmm, I don't think I've really listened to to this one that much because I a) have no general ideas about this song OR b) it's a forgettable song. I don't really know.
Best Thing I Never Had-Story of my life. Actually, story of me and Shahil.
Rather Die Young-I used to not really like it but it really grew on me. Partially because it was all soulful but had that 90's RB feel sort of.
Start Over-The beat in the beginning automatically made me like the song. It's really simple but I just liked it. A lot.
Love On Top-Pretty much the first song Lizzi showed me that gave Beyonce a chance. This song is amazing......with all those key changes that get irritating because she makes me feel like a tone deaf walrus. Which I am.
Countdown-It sounds like she's saying "me and my BOOB BOOB BOOB BOOB" or boof. Or poof. and it is quite TITillating. See what I did-Never mind.
End Of Time-This was a a good song too! Though I wonder if she was thinking about Jay-z while writing all of these songs. I know she probably didn't (and she probably had other people write them for her) but haha every time I think about Jay-z for these songs I feel like Beyonce is super bi-polar >.<
I Was Here-One of the more "depressing" songs on the album. I liked this one too. GOTTA HAVE SOME VARIETY. I feel like this song would play in a K drama. Or if America had soap operas modeled after K dramas, this would totally be in it when the main character tries to DIE. Nah, the main character never dies, it's usually the elderly dad or grandpa.
Run the World-Okay, I don't understand how this one is the most popular. It sucks the biggest, juiciest donkey balls ever. Well it's not that bad but no matter how hard I try to listen to it, it still never grows on me. This shows how bad the music taste of generic Americans are.
Party ft. Andre 3000-At first the rap was kind of "wut?". "Gurrrrl ahhll make milk drip down yo' knees"...BUT this grew on me super quickly. And I love it so much. This one has the most prominent 90's RB feel to it PLUS it kind of reminds me of a female underage version of Let's Get It On by the sultry Marvin Gaye. Marvin Gaye's dad killed Marvin. Slut. Andre 3000 was in Outkast. Which means he sang the 'hey ya' song. Now how 'bout that trivia!
And there's the bonus tracks:
Lay Up Under Me: The song was alright, but I LOVED the title. I was like "oh snap gurl. Beyonce dominates......IN BED." It reminded me of Robin Scherbatsky.
Schoolin' Life: This song had an 80's anthem feel to it, and I loved it a lot. I actually haven't been listening to it recently, which is weird, but I'll get to it soon. I'm getting distracted by Kpop. Which is Kenyan pop.
Dance For You-Meh. Definitely about lap dancing. And the lyrics sort of creep me out, mainly cause I lay awake in bed listening to this album at night.

So the end!
My top five of this album would definitely be
Love On Top, Schoolin' Life, Party, I Care, and Rather Die Young.

Here's the rather sekahsee cover of the album.


Okay, for the longest time I didn't know it was called "4".
.__.

Acronyms. And a List of People I'd....Do.

So, acronyms...they get ridiculous.....sort of. Like me and Sierra's Bff equivalent, BFFFFFFFFFFFLTPCI. Y'all probably know what it means. If you don't, I doubt you'd want to ask me because that'd waste about 10 seconds of your life. I used to hate using the most overused acronym "lol".....but unfortunately at the time, I kind of sort of have to use it. It's also not as annoying sounding as it used to be. It's unsettling, but I have to do it. I'm also using it honestly 'cause maybe I DO fucking laugh when I say it. Mmmmhmm. It also reminds me of memes. AND THE LOLWUT PEAR. I LOVE THAT THING. Speaking of memes, I told my mom a poop joke and the story about the swami on Youtube teaching poop getting-out-of-your ass exercises and she told me I'd be forever alone. I.......think she's true. I told her this joke....Did you hear that diarrhea is hereditary? Yeah! IT RUNS IN THE JEANS. I know. What a flabby thigh slapper. So yesterday, I went to a walk in appointment with my dentist because I was having this weird gum-ache. And.........you'll never know. Wisdom teeth are already in. Dayum, they're supposed to start when you're about.....18-19 or even into your 20's and 30's! So far I think 3 of them grew in. The reason why my gums hurt like hell was because the root of the tooth was like half a centimeter away from a nerve in my mouth. We're looking into getting them removed. If my dentist can't do it, I'm going to get them surgically removed. Please knock me unconscious and then pull them out. What also sucks is that I'm getting them all pulled out separately. It's good that it won't affect band but 3 times to not look forward to. Anyways, I've been watching a good amount of JennaMarbles lately. Her humor isn't as amazing as some, but I give her parents props for doing it and making her because she's hot, slutty, and has a master's degree. I have a weird sort of respect for really hot, slutty, smart people. But not Hotforwords, I'm pretty sure she has a dick. No offense or anything....I also find it rather ironic that she's teaching Engleassshh when she's......Russian. Is she Russian? I dunno.....Ukraine? Oh well. So here's a list of people I'd theoretically bang. Repeatedly. Just kidding. And by the way, I probably wouldn't bang these people. (That's a lie...I'd definitely sleep with them.) It would be nice having that kind of a reputation, though I'm probably already labeled sluttymaroo by most Asian parents :P
1. Todd from barelypolitical. Aka Uri Kastrovich. I might throw in Amber Lee Ettinger and Lauren Francesca as well. Mmm barelypolitical.
2. Carrot top. You can see why.
3. Nicki Minaj in all outfits and hairstyles.
4. Muuuung Daaaaaaaal.
5. I'd probably bang a tiger to make a yellow tiger baby.
6. Larry King.
7. Lizzi Trumbore.
8. Choirboys. Any size, shape, ethnicity. And they must be pre pubescent.
9. Luna from f(x).....when she's blonde. While wearing fishnets and hitting high notes. Hot. I guess she could look like this as well.
10. Park Bom. She has to sing too.
11. And maybe (note the maybe) Nic while wearing something really slutty. ;P Like this.I'd ravish you in those nipple high trousers.
12. Last but ohoho, definitely not least, Lady Gaga during the time when people said she had a dick. I love controversies that deal with having dicks! If I ever become famous I hope people start those rumors. Not that I'm going to become famous.
Well, I'm done!
So my dad's back from Chiners. Yay.
Also, burritos and frozen yogurt don't mix.
That burrito was fucking delicious, by the way. I wish I could just regurgitate it whole and eat it again......
Is that weird?
Never mind.
Also.....the LLAMA ALPHABET! Aren't you surprised there isn't a My Little Llama Franchise?
Lastly, happy August! :D

Posessed (NSYNC Breaks Into My Room)

Clearly my jetlag ain't over. Yesterday around 2 PM (oh baby, the hottest time of the day) I felt super tired so I went to bed. I was sleeping on my side and I'm sure that my hand was pushed back against my will. It was sort of a dream but I felt like someone was bringing my hand back from the side of my pillow to my waist. I felt like I was struggling but I guess not....jetlag does some pretty crazy things to people. Also, NSYNC broke into my room and started possessing AND serenading me with No Strings Attached. It was interesting, and Chris Kirkpatrick looked creepier than ever. I'm also pretty sure they tied me up. Hot, sexy bondage dreams involving boy bands. Well, at least it wasn't the Backstreet Boys or LMF or whatever group that sang the really stupid song "Summer Girls". I just searched up LMF to make sure I was right, and boy was I wrong....LMF is a Canto pop group that stands for Lazy Motha Fucka. HAHA.
This is a group that I need to be in. I would tap dat PHAT ass. Sigh I love the names War, Phat and Prodip. IM PRODIP. Lolololololo.
Okay, the right name of the group that sang the lame song is LFO. Yow. Look at that delicious anus face. Just kidding. I love you CK. You made NSYNC....NSYNC.

I kept on waking up from weird 5 minute dreams.....I just watched the movie Rite, about a demon/the devil getting into this priest (yum) and then possessing this chick and whatnot so it was really freaky, because I felt like something invisible was pulling my arm back. Once it was to my hip, and the second time I felt like my hand was being pulled to my crotch...I dunno. It was insanely strange.Awwww yeah. Me in bed. Just...less glamorous.
So I was going to post this yesterday. Today I took another nap because I'm a lazy ass and I was getting tired of watching stupidly hilarious Madtv skits. I dreamt about silverfish. Y'know, those weird disgusting little mini scorpion bugs with little antennae that you find in old dusty shelves? Shudder.....They were everywhere. I'm pretty sure I woke up screaming. Those little creatures drive me insane and every time I see them I want to stab myself with carrots. This isn't very inneresting but I think I have mind problems. Wait. Don't respond to that statement.

Musical life partners...who's yours? I guess mine would be a combination of Lizzi and Courtney Sailors and maybe a little bit of Ceciley. Courtney Sailors is courtneypants on youtube and she is a unicorn loving dicktastic person. I can mostly relate with Lizzi because we listen to everything....we don't really have limits of what we listen to.......I listen to weird post-art-whatever rock, 90's grunge, musical selections, and K pop. And a little bit of jpop. And Brit Brit Spears as my guilty pleasure. But that's not the end of all the genres I listen to. The only thing I can't really stand is country. Kill me please. And I like Courtney's art rock and weird indie hipster music that I sort of have and appreciate and her strange electronic incorporated into alternative stuff. And as for Ceciley.....she also listens to a lot of genres....It's like taking Lizzi (minus the really bubblegummy pop and mashing it up with my music taste......minusing my share of the cheesy pop as well.) And mixing some Icelandic foreign stuff in it.
So since I really haven't discovered any amazing bands and 4shared is a stupid piece of crap (just kidding. I love 4shared.......most of the time.) I have been watching Ceciley's mixtape videos on youtube.......she separates them into categories, like road trip music, love makin' jams (just kidding.....well, sort of), and beachy music and whatnot. Lots of musical inspiration......and new songs on my ipod. Courtney has a show too and a lot of the songs that she does are the ones I listen to or have listened to....but thank you for introducing MAP OF TASMANIA, the best song ever about merkins and censorship laws. Thank you.

Here's some songs that I've discovered...Since I'm too unattractive to make videos on youtube, I shall recommend 5 songs that I've found through these lovely women/ or have found by myself. But mostly them.....like I said, my brain is rather obese. And not in a good way. I'm pretty sure it's coated in cellulite and can't think and is thinking about medium rare steaks dipped in mayonnaise...Yeah!
1. Hawaiian Air-Friendly Fires (A song about being in airplanes. The music video is awesome......sitting between making out couples, a kid pulling on your hair, sitting next to a morbidly obese dude eating salad..)
2. Helena Beat-Foster the People (A song....with a guy singing in a high pitched voice? And the music video resembles a toddler apocalypse.)
3. Que Veux Tu-Madeon Remix - Yelle (The remix is better...to me. And the song makes you want to go through an LSD adventure through a daisy field and dance inappropriately. Think of me humping Tom Daley on the TV screen. Oh yes.)
4. Goodbye Happiness-Utada Hikaru (Heard this on MTV China. Probably the first Jpop I've liked. I'm not surprised.....Utada Hikaru is the acclaimed queen of Jpop. And it's not stupidy catchy kpop...)
5. Tears Dry On Their Own-Amy Winehouse (Everyone is going crazy 'cause of her death, I know. It's just like the Michael Jackson death. I swear, every year there's going to be an insanely talented musician dying young. Ever since her death, her album has been skyrocketing....I've had this song for a long time. It's rather good, and I can easily say that I like her more than Adele. I love Adele.....but most of the songs on 21 sound the same........ I remember the chorus that makes one song differ from the other but I can't remember anything else. Something about Amy's contralto voice and her songs just stand out more. Plus her erratic behaviour added a lot to that factor XD)


Well, this wasn't a particular funny or interesting blog post but this is what everyone (my 1 and 1/3 viewers) get.......because my brain is fat and can't think of witty jokes. Well....I have a poop joke.....more like a poop connection story. So here it goes!

Wet Poop

The kind where you wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels un-wiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.

Don't you get this feeling all the time?

Yes, I got this from an app called POOP JOKES! Real original.

It's OVER!

Hand Sanitizer Part Dos and Why I'm NEVER Getting a Mammogram.

Something that all men/horny teenage boys wish they had. But.....it won't work. Unless you're a d-list whore. THAT'S ME! Just kidding.
If I don't teach Chinese or pursue other careers and become duh doctah, I'm really gonna invent this and make it mandatory for men so they can SUFFER.

So I forgot to mention the feelings that these 2 tiny bottles I've used this year have expressed! Oh yes. The first scent I used was called Island Nectar. How exotic. It was VERY exotic. In fact, it sort of did express new things, new EXOTIC things. In that case exotic doesn't really fit but it slightly ties in. I don't know. The smell was super cheerful and nice and also really EXOTIC like mentioned before so it kind of symbolized being new and freshmany and getting to know people that I slightly didn't want to get to know in the beginning but it was actually amazing getting to know them. Damn that was a long sentence.And it also represents getting to know and growing closer to Nic, even though I pretty much barely knew he existed before...August, even though I remember him trying on something spandexy a while back. How EXOTIC. I'm....going to stop saying exotic. It also represented getting used to change and also moving on. Aka dumping the deuce, if it makes anything clearer. Dumping the deuce sounds like a term to express someone making a bowel movement. Aheehur. The next scent wasn't very prominent. Everyone wears it so it just reminded me of nothing really. It's that Japanese Cherry Blossom crap that makes you smell like a hooker. I just remembered me dumping gobs of it onto my hands just to get rid of it so I could buy more pleasant smelling ones. But....it's still here and in my closet somewhere so I'm just going to forget about it and use the one that smells like a cinnamon bun. Yum.
So the next part is about MAMMOGRAMS. Mammograms are rather scary. I would hate getting checked out by a gynecologist and getting a mammogram. I also hope there aren't any male gynecologists out there because that's just wrong. Unless they were gay, than that'd be alright. I'd be pretty sad having a straight male look up my cooter. But mammograms.....oh my god. Putting your boobs between two metal slabs and applying.....pressure. Shudder. What if your boobs explode!? My mom told me about mammograms and I grabbed my tits in fear. Also, what does the fricking doctor do if you end up with weird looking boobs.....like they jut out and look smushed? Stupid mammogram..ists. This is why I am going to keep my tits nice and healthy with......lots of sunlight, water, and fertilizer. Nah, I'm actually not sure how you keep your boobs healthy. Maybe you exercise them like those creepy weightlifting butch women so you can move your boobs in different directions. What a turn on. I'm also going to keep my cooter healthy with a lot of awkward exercise. Like.....interpretive dancing and.....the BEND and SNAP. Oh baby.
So I'm guess I'm done with my worrying with mammograms. Hopefully my boobs will not get old and saggy without them.
And....NATALIE TRAN finally posted up a video, even though it may only last 42 seconds long. How am I supposed to love her again when she LEFT ME. What an unhealthy relationship.

Nostalgia......in a probably 1 fluid oz container.

Do you have music that clearly reminds you of exact places you've been while listening to it and when were there? Well, I guess it's sort of a stupid question to ask because I'm pretty sure everyone does that. For example, the little portion of the irritating mainstream dates back to when I was musically stupid. Well, I guess I wasn't...I was brought up with classical, folk, classic rock, etc. So I guess all the new stuff sort of fascinated me. Then there was my emo angsty rock period in the beginning of seventh grade where I swore to never listen to pop again. At the end of seventh, I was opening up to the stuff Lizzi gave me and just listening to her songs remind me so clearly of our San Francisco trip. The rest of my stuff reminds me of pretty small moments in time. The first Lady Gaga song I listened to brings me back of memories of sitting in the subway in Hong Kong. If I play songs during my guilty pleasure pop/artistic (aka a nice word for plainly weird) rock phase, I think about me hiding my double identity that I didn't want to do. This also happens to me through the types of hand sanitizer I use >.< Don't ask..A lot of memories are made by a teeny little plastic bottle from Bath and Body Works. What's weird is that it doesn't work through lotion....or body spray....just hand sanitizer. I remember using something that smelled like peaches and mint, and the smell reminds me when I was bored with school and this was sort of a pick me up. No, I didn't huff hand sanitizer. Another one that I used was this really strong candied apple scented stuff. It reminded me of gross Shahilish times. This is definitely a smell that my nostrils do not want to revisit. Slutty, girly, rotten, tainted, candy coated lies, hurt, poison....Strong words (sorta?) for a smell in a bottle that costed 1.50. Yesterday I paid a trip to the good ol' store and picked up some more because who knows how many STD's you can pick up around school with your hands and bought 5 more bottles. Who knows which parts and what kinds of my life are going to be represented in each tiny little bottle. Well, 2 bottles already smell like my past (they both date back to kindergarten when I made my first friend and we were playing with little girl perfume). But maybe more important things will take its place. Hopefully good things, because the funniest feeling is felt (whoa alliteration) when you smell it again in the future, and it's even stranger when it represents something good. It is an unholy mixture of happiness, wistfulness, and even a hint of sadness. Even the smallest things bring back a ton of memories. At first I don't notice, but then I actually think about it and BAM. Blast from the past. I could think about...say, a bag of ramen noodles or look at some of my mom's jewelry and feel like reminiscing. It's bizarrely powerful. I guess this is me sort of looking backwards and getting a feel of the future, even though who knows what it's going to bring me. All of this talk from music and hand cleaning fluids.
I'm a real deep person, aren't I? ;P

And for the top picture.....No one better wear that fucking scent around me or else I may cheerfully rip their bladder out. And you need that, by the way.